Saturday, November 27, 2004
Hawai'i 49, NU 41
I didn't write anything before this game at Hawai'i because I was home for Thanksgiving. I also didn't see the game, and I was sad about the outcome so there was no recap. It was unfun to think about. Sorry bout that.
Monday, November 22, 2004
NU 28, Illinois 21 (OT)
Now here's the thing. I think to really appreciate this year in Northwestern football, you probably have to be me. Or at least someone like me. Maybe you are, in which case I congratulate you. It used to be that I would start thinking and wondering about each upcoming game about 12-24 hours before kickoff. But this year's ups, downs, and sidewayses have kept NU football on my mind basically 5-10 days per week. If we had lost on Saturday, maybe I'd be concentrating on Thanksgiving travel plans or the thing I'm at now. Um. Work. But now. I get another week to ponder whether a win will put us in the Music or Motor City Bowl. So, for that I thank the mighty ApostroCats.
Before I get to the other selfish things I want to say, let me first hit on this selfish part of my review. Yup! It's the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU 0 (1 by, 1 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 6.0, UI 4.5. I think I win again. C'mon, Randy. It's time for you bring it!
Anyway, I'll have more specific game things after next week's regular season finale. So I'll end here with a song. It's from the Weather Report, but I like it enough to stick in here too.
O, the Illini's season's over
And they're really glad it is
No more games
No more shame
No more sucking when it's raining
But they love it so much they'll be back next year
So I guess they're pretty slow
Cuz, they think maybe they'll beat the Cats next year
Even when we're ten and oh (and oh and oh).
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: It could have been worse. It's nice to see Baz throwing some good passes again.
Cats' D: If we could get them to think every play is 3rd and 8 in overtime. That might be nice.
Cats' Special Teams: It would have been a total special teams disaster if Backes hadn't saved their day.
Go Cats!
Before I get to the other selfish things I want to say, let me first hit on this selfish part of my review. Yup! It's the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU 0 (1 by, 1 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 6.0, UI 4.5. I think I win again. C'mon, Randy. It's time for you bring it!
Anyway, I'll have more specific game things after next week's regular season finale. So I'll end here with a song. It's from the Weather Report, but I like it enough to stick in here too.
O, the Illini's season's over
And they're really glad it is
No more games
No more shame
No more sucking when it's raining
But they love it so much they'll be back next year
So I guess they're pretty slow
Cuz, they think maybe they'll beat the Cats next year
Even when we're ten and oh (and oh and oh).
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: It could have been worse. It's nice to see Baz throwing some good passes again.
Cats' D: If we could get them to think every play is 3rd and 8 in overtime. That might be nice.
Cats' Special Teams: It would have been a total special teams disaster if Backes hadn't saved their day.
Go Cats!
Friday, November 19, 2004
Illinois Weather Forecast
O, the Illini's season's over
And they're really glad it is
No more games
No more shame
No more sucking when it's raining*
But they love it so much they'll be back next year
So I guess they're pretty slow
Cuz, they think maybe they'll beat the Cats next year
Even when we're ten and oh (and oh and oh).
* See. It's a weather report now! Because I said "rain." Which is weather. Oh shut it.
Go 'Cats!
JIASM
And they're really glad it is
No more games
No more shame
No more sucking when it's raining*
But they love it so much they'll be back next year
So I guess they're pretty slow
Cuz, they think maybe they'll beat the Cats next year
Even when we're ten and oh (and oh and oh).
* See. It's a weather report now! Because I said "rain." Which is weather. Oh shut it.
Go 'Cats!
JIASM
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Illinois Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...Northwestern is favored in this game.
Yes! NU is a 12 point fave and the O/U is 53.5. Interestingly, that would give a score pretty damn close to last year.
...you think Ron Turner will be back coaching the Illini next season.
No. I think he's gone. You need good wins to keep your job in the Big Ten.
...you think UI's three wins so far this year don't count as good.
Florida A&M, Western Michigan (barely) and Indiana (barely). Nuff said.
...you think Noah Herron will rush for 100+ yards tomorrow.
Yup. Maybe 175+.
...you think Terrell Jordan will rush for 100+ yards.
I think maybe. It could be a reprise of the Wright-Herron games (Duke and UI) of last season.
...you've got a senior in mind who could factor in big.
There will be a lot. Outside of Herron, Castillo and Clark...I'm picking (ha ha get it?) John Pickens to have a big game on Senior Day.
...you left anyone out.
Maybe Ashton Aikens too. He of stone hands and fleet feet. He seems to be chipping away at the stone parts, and maybe will have a breakout game.
...it's time for you to go to lab meeting.
Damn! Thanks for reminding me.
...you've got a pick before you go to die of boredom and breakfast foods.
I do! I'll say NU 35-IU 20. The ApostroCats live to see a meaningful game in Hawai'i.
...you can throw in some more Big Ten picks for rivalry weekend.
What the hey. MSU 28-PSU 10, Wisconsin 20-Iowa 17, Purdue 30-IU 12, & Michigan 35-OSU 17.
...Northwestern is favored in this game.
Yes! NU is a 12 point fave and the O/U is 53.5. Interestingly, that would give a score pretty damn close to last year.
...you think Ron Turner will be back coaching the Illini next season.
No. I think he's gone. You need good wins to keep your job in the Big Ten.
...you think UI's three wins so far this year don't count as good.
Florida A&M, Western Michigan (barely) and Indiana (barely). Nuff said.
...you think Noah Herron will rush for 100+ yards tomorrow.
Yup. Maybe 175+.
...you think Terrell Jordan will rush for 100+ yards.
I think maybe. It could be a reprise of the Wright-Herron games (Duke and UI) of last season.
...you've got a senior in mind who could factor in big.
There will be a lot. Outside of Herron, Castillo and Clark...I'm picking (ha ha get it?) John Pickens to have a big game on Senior Day.
...you left anyone out.
Maybe Ashton Aikens too. He of stone hands and fleet feet. He seems to be chipping away at the stone parts, and maybe will have a breakout game.
...it's time for you to go to lab meeting.
Damn! Thanks for reminding me.
...you've got a pick before you go to die of boredom and breakfast foods.
I do! I'll say NU 35-IU 20. The ApostroCats live to see a meaningful game in Hawai'i.
...you can throw in some more Big Ten picks for rivalry weekend.
What the hey. MSU 28-PSU 10, Wisconsin 20-Iowa 17, Purdue 30-IU 12, & Michigan 35-OSU 17.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Illinois Preview
Ah, me. Another Big Ten football season is drawing to a close. As has become usual, NU is taking on in-state rival Illinois. You may recall that last year, down in the balmy southland of Urbana, the ApostroCats rushed the ball until it could be rushed no more. And then some. Northwestern's longest pass of the day was, if I'm not mistaken, completed in the Memorial Stadium parking lot by aspiring quarterback "Little" Billy Cheever. His 16-yard throw was caught by his father "Big" Billy Cheever, who proceeded to spike the ball in some cheese dip. It was an inauspicious day for NU passing, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
But the Cats won anyway, behind a ton of running and some real bad UI offense. This year may be more of the same. I think Baz will be a little more productive on Saturday, but if Herron and Jordan are moving the ball, we can look for 35-40 rushing plays. Or more.
Now, I know that the Illini probably had some sort of Senior Day stuff at Illinois' home finale against Indiana. But I'll spotlight a couple of the seniors here too. I'm sure NU will have the Cats covered on the senior level.
* Jon Beutjer (QB). Let me tell you, he's 24 years old. No seriously. He's a month and a half older than I am. This is his sixth year of playing at UI. Don't ask me how. Plus he's really pretty crappy and fragile. I don't think he'll be seeing time.
* Matt Sinclair (LB). Not quite as old as our dear friend Jon. According to his bio, he wants to own a restaurant after he graduates. I think he should move to Madison and run John's Tacos (John Stocco's).
* Taman Jordan (DB). Now look. I don't anything about him. I know that his major is Rhetoric. And I'm sure that's a great major. Years from now, I guess he'll be able to convince his McDonald's manager to give him an extra day off at Christmas.
And the rest of the bunch...
*Breaking his own record: Sharriff Abdullah (So. DB) is planning to add another double letter to his name. This will help him break his own Big Ten record in that category.
*Get some original names please: Arthur Boyd III, Sam Carson III, Joe Mele III, Duke Preston III, James Stevenson III, Raymond Willis III.
*You, plenty original. Thanks: Kisan Flakes (Fr. QB)
*AND!: Waller, Walker, Tischer, Shafer, Kruger, Kleckner, Frazier, Creamer (eww), Cooper, Buckner, Bower, Beutjer.
GO CATS!
But the Cats won anyway, behind a ton of running and some real bad UI offense. This year may be more of the same. I think Baz will be a little more productive on Saturday, but if Herron and Jordan are moving the ball, we can look for 35-40 rushing plays. Or more.
Now, I know that the Illini probably had some sort of Senior Day stuff at Illinois' home finale against Indiana. But I'll spotlight a couple of the seniors here too. I'm sure NU will have the Cats covered on the senior level.
* Jon Beutjer (QB). Let me tell you, he's 24 years old. No seriously. He's a month and a half older than I am. This is his sixth year of playing at UI. Don't ask me how. Plus he's really pretty crappy and fragile. I don't think he'll be seeing time.
* Matt Sinclair (LB). Not quite as old as our dear friend Jon. According to his bio, he wants to own a restaurant after he graduates. I think he should move to Madison and run John's Tacos (John Stocco's).
* Taman Jordan (DB). Now look. I don't anything about him. I know that his major is Rhetoric. And I'm sure that's a great major. Years from now, I guess he'll be able to convince his McDonald's manager to give him an extra day off at Christmas.
And the rest of the bunch...
*Breaking his own record: Sharriff Abdullah (So. DB) is planning to add another double letter to his name. This will help him break his own Big Ten record in that category.
*Get some original names please: Arthur Boyd III, Sam Carson III, Joe Mele III, Duke Preston III, James Stevenson III, Raymond Willis III.
*You, plenty original. Thanks: Kisan Flakes (Fr. QB)
*AND!: Waller, Walker, Tischer, Shafer, Kruger, Kleckner, Frazier, Creamer (eww), Cooper, Buckner, Bower, Beutjer.
GO CATS!
Monday, November 15, 2004
Michigan 42, NU 20
Well ugh. Now that I'm a couple days removed from the Cats' 20-42 loss to Michigan, I feel capable of writing about it. The funny thing is that last week I would have felt OK if you'd told me that would be the result. But when it was 13-14 in the 3rd quarter I thought maybe there was a chance. Obviously, after that, I found out that I don't keep enough non-breakable items nearby when I watch football. Someone needs to give me a whole set of paper-filled plastic bags or something.
But, to quote my mother, "I enjoyed the first 5/8 of the game." Noah had another nice day, and Baz moved into 1st place in Big Ten passing. I mean, I know that's a joke and Orton hasn't been playing. But it's still cool. No? Also, it was another leg of the the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU 0 (0 by, 0 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 4.8, Michigan 5.9. I kinda wish I hadn't won this leg in this fashion. But oh well. I'm also developing a new prediction stat which will be 2nd down effectiveness. I'm not sure how it will be computed, but be on the lookout! New things are fun!
So now for the exciting finale of the Big Ten season. I'm gonna be glad to get off my couch and get myself back to Dyche one more time this year.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Really not too bad. My opinion of Brandon Roberson is improving.
Cats' D: I just hope that they can all recover from this and call it a throw-away half before facing Illinois.
Cats' Spesh: Often-good coverage spoiled. Pretty ok kick returns. Again, B-Rob is gonna be ok in my book soon.
Go Cats! Beat the Ellini*!
* I decided this weekend that I'm going to make fun of the way people pronounce things. Thus the cheers:
E-L-L! I-N-I! & I-G-G-L-E-S! Iggles!
But, to quote my mother, "I enjoyed the first 5/8 of the game." Noah had another nice day, and Baz moved into 1st place in Big Ten passing. I mean, I know that's a joke and Orton hasn't been playing. But it's still cool. No? Also, it was another leg of the the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU 0 (0 by, 0 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 4.8, Michigan 5.9. I kinda wish I hadn't won this leg in this fashion. But oh well. I'm also developing a new prediction stat which will be 2nd down effectiveness. I'm not sure how it will be computed, but be on the lookout! New things are fun!
So now for the exciting finale of the Big Ten season. I'm gonna be glad to get off my couch and get myself back to Dyche one more time this year.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Really not too bad. My opinion of Brandon Roberson is improving.
Cats' D: I just hope that they can all recover from this and call it a throw-away half before facing Illinois.
Cats' Spesh: Often-good coverage spoiled. Pretty ok kick returns. Again, B-Rob is gonna be ok in my book soon.
Go Cats! Beat the Ellini*!
* I decided this weekend that I'm going to make fun of the way people pronounce things. Thus the cheers:
E-L-L! I-N-I! & I-G-G-L-E-S! Iggles!
Friday, November 12, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Michigan Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...Brad forgot to write the Weather Report last week.
Yeah! He did. He's just lucky we won, or he'd have some splainin to do.
...you forgot too.
Well. I guess I kind of did. But in my defense, I totally remembered on Tuesday.
...you went for all of the preview without calling them "whores."
I did. I'm so proud of me.
...you went to the NU basketball exhibition game last night.
It was cool. It was the first game and my season ticket-having self just couldn't pass it up.
...your seat kicks some kind of total ass.
If by ass, you mean like how my ass has to sit on wooden bleacher. Then totally.
...the BasketCats looked good.
In general yes. There's a lot of work to be done by Tim Doyle and T.J. Parker between now and next weekend. Vedran looked like a leader = good news.
...we can get back to the NU Football Cats now.
Yeah. Good point.
...you've got a pick.
Against the odds (Michigan -13.5, O/U 48.5) I'm picking NU 28-Michigan 20.
...Brad forgot to write the Weather Report last week.
Yeah! He did. He's just lucky we won, or he'd have some splainin to do.
...you forgot too.
Well. I guess I kind of did. But in my defense, I totally remembered on Tuesday.
...you went for all of the preview without calling them "whores."
I did. I'm so proud of me.
...you went to the NU basketball exhibition game last night.
It was cool. It was the first game and my season ticket-having self just couldn't pass it up.
...your seat kicks some kind of total ass.
If by ass, you mean like how my ass has to sit on wooden bleacher. Then totally.
...the BasketCats looked good.
In general yes. There's a lot of work to be done by Tim Doyle and T.J. Parker between now and next weekend. Vedran looked like a leader = good news.
...we can get back to the NU Football Cats now.
Yeah. Good point.
...you've got a pick.
Against the odds (Michigan -13.5, O/U 48.5) I'm picking NU 28-Michigan 20.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Michigan Preview
Before I get started, let me just say this. In "researching" these little ditties, I get a lot of my "information" about our opponents from their athletic websites. Not every school has that page one click away from it's institutional front page, so it's nice when I can remember the URLs for the sports sites off-hand. IUHoosiers.com, GopherSports.com, NUSports.com - these are well and good and easy on the eye and ear. But then there's Michigan. MGoBlue.com. Huh? I mean, I get it, but huh? MichiganSports, Wolverines, or just GoBlue was too tough to get? C'mon. Let's get some common sense to go with all that ugly "maize."
In on-field preview stuff. I remember the good old days when Michigan(8-1,6-0) had a well-balanced offense. It's unfortunate for Northwestern that those days, they are still now. And every year, it seems. With (QB) Henne, (RB) Hart, and (WRs) Edwards and Avant. This is probably the scariest offense in the Big Ten now that Purdue and Minnesota are more or less struggling. The ApostroCats' D will have to come up big in individual plays as well as solid team coverage, tackling and pass pressure. No prob.
In all likelihood, NU's offense will have to keep the team in the game on Saturday. Michigan gives up some points, only holding one team below 10 points and allowing more than 20 points 4 times. In a slugfest, the Cats may be able to hold their own.
On the nameward front:
Harold and Kumar go to Tim's house: Tim Bracken (Sr. RB) from White Castle, LA.
Freedom on the offense: Pierre Rembert (So. RB)
Freedon on the defense: Pierre Woods (Jr. LB)
(Freedom at supper-time. When Freedom's on a bagel you can eat Freedom anytime.) Sorry.
Only a couple of these left this year: Spencer, Shazor, Schoonover, Rogers, Myers, Ecker, Barringer.
GO CATS!
In on-field preview stuff. I remember the good old days when Michigan(8-1,6-0) had a well-balanced offense. It's unfortunate for Northwestern that those days, they are still now. And every year, it seems. With (QB) Henne, (RB) Hart, and (WRs) Edwards and Avant. This is probably the scariest offense in the Big Ten now that Purdue and Minnesota are more or less struggling. The ApostroCats' D will have to come up big in individual plays as well as solid team coverage, tackling and pass pressure. No prob.
In all likelihood, NU's offense will have to keep the team in the game on Saturday. Michigan gives up some points, only holding one team below 10 points and allowing more than 20 points 4 times. In a slugfest, the Cats may be able to hold their own.
On the nameward front:
Harold and Kumar go to Tim's house: Tim Bracken (Sr. RB) from White Castle, LA.
Freedom on the offense: Pierre Rembert (So. RB)
Freedon on the defense: Pierre Woods (Jr. LB)
(Freedom at supper-time. When Freedom's on a bagel you can eat Freedom anytime.) Sorry.
Only a couple of these left this year: Spencer, Shazor, Schoonover, Rogers, Myers, Ecker, Barringer.
GO CATS!
Monday, November 08, 2004
NU 14, Penn State 7
How many times do I have to call for Joe Paterno's retirement before he listens up? It's not just because his team has lost a million games. And it's not just because they lost a million games for the second straight year. It's because when he's asked what the problems are and how to correct them, he no longer has any idea. It's time to hand everything over to some long-time assistant.
That said, I'll stop complaining about things I can't control and talk about the ApostroCats nice little win on Saturday. Noah Herron...No wait! More complaining! Did anyone else think the ESPN+ broadcast of the game was just deplorable? My major beef (which would be a great Cow Commandos character name): framing shots so that you can tell where the play occurs on the field. Now, I know we can't have the cute yellow line for every game. It's expensive. Fine. Can we at least get camera angles that reveal, I don't know, yard-line numbers or line-to-gain markers? AAAGH!
Ok. End of complaining for real. Noah had a great day, and it would have been even better if he'd been in the whole time. BB had (for him) a great day as well. The short story version of the day goes right along with the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU -2 (2 by, 1 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 7.6, PSU 5.2. That's another point for me! Maybe some day I'll let everyone in on the way I score this Showdown...after I win. Maybe.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Noah + receivers + efficient Baz = yay!
Cats' D: PSU is an ineffective offense, so that didn't hurt us.
Cats' Special Teams: Our kick coverage has gotten downright good. And the kickoffs were ok. And punting too. Just need someone reliable back there on punts.
Go Cats! Beat the Wolverines!
That said, I'll stop complaining about things I can't control and talk about the ApostroCats nice little win on Saturday. Noah Herron...No wait! More complaining! Did anyone else think the ESPN+ broadcast of the game was just deplorable? My major beef (which would be a great Cow Commandos character name): framing shots so that you can tell where the play occurs on the field. Now, I know we can't have the cute yellow line for every game. It's expensive. Fine. Can we at least get camera angles that reveal, I don't know, yard-line numbers or line-to-gain markers? AAAGH!
Ok. End of complaining for real. Noah had a great day, and it would have been even better if he'd been in the whole time. BB had (for him) a great day as well. The short story version of the day goes right along with the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU -2 (2 by, 1 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 7.6, PSU 5.2. That's another point for me! Maybe some day I'll let everyone in on the way I score this Showdown...after I win. Maybe.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Noah + receivers + efficient Baz = yay!
Cats' D: PSU is an ineffective offense, so that didn't hurt us.
Cats' Special Teams: Our kick coverage has gotten downright good. And the kickoffs were ok. And punting too. Just need someone reliable back there on punts.
Go Cats! Beat the Wolverines!
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Penn State Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...the line is where you expected it.
Yes. It's pretty close anyway. It's at PSU -3.5, O/U 38. I might have made it closer to a pick-em game. But it's a'ight since their at home.
...You were right last year when you predicted Paterno's last campaign would be this year.
Probably not. I still think he should announce his retirement in the off-season and then take a farewell season. He does kind of deserve it.
...Vinny Castillo will come down with another interception this week.
Um..isn't he a baseball player? Like for the Rockies or someone?
...Luis Castillo will come down with a pick.
Probably not. But maybe he'll come down with a case of In-Mills-Face...itis.
...Kim Thompson will show what he's doing here as a starter.
Yes. He'll lead the team in catches.
...Kim Thompson will show when it's a running play, by being in the game.
No. No more 8-in-the-box when K-Thom is in.
...You're gonna stop calling him K-Thom now.
Yeah. That name sucks. Maybe just KT or something more manly. How about Brutus?
...you're gonna pick NU again.
But of course! I'm going with NU 24-PSU 13.
...the line is where you expected it.
Yes. It's pretty close anyway. It's at PSU -3.5, O/U 38. I might have made it closer to a pick-em game. But it's a'ight since their at home.
...You were right last year when you predicted Paterno's last campaign would be this year.
Probably not. I still think he should announce his retirement in the off-season and then take a farewell season. He does kind of deserve it.
...Vinny Castillo will come down with another interception this week.
Um..isn't he a baseball player? Like for the Rockies or someone?
...Luis Castillo will come down with a pick.
Probably not. But maybe he'll come down with a case of In-Mills-Face...itis.
...Kim Thompson will show what he's doing here as a starter.
Yes. He'll lead the team in catches.
...Kim Thompson will show when it's a running play, by being in the game.
No. No more 8-in-the-box when K-Thom is in.
...You're gonna stop calling him K-Thom now.
Yeah. That name sucks. Maybe just KT or something more manly. How about Brutus?
...you're gonna pick NU again.
But of course! I'm going with NU 24-PSU 13.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Penn State Preview
Well, it's time for the Northwestern Wildcats to go on another road trip. So far this year, those have turned out...not...good. Also, we're headed to State College, PA. Our record there is less than stunning at 0 and 4 (PSU has only been in the Big Ten since 1993, if I'm not mistaken.) Those four losses have been pretty bad. It's time to turn it around, so let's see how we're gonna do it.
I usually look at on-the-field match-ups when I do this, but I think one of our strengths this week will be on the sidelines. I don't want to say that Joe Pa is old and crotchety, but just take a look at this snippet from the Lions' coach's weekly press conference.
Q. Do you feel better about the offense after getting in the endzone against OSU?
A. I feel great. If we score 10 points every week, we should win some games. Twenty-one in a game is unrealistic to expect from most opponents.
Q. Is [QB Zack] Mills going to see much time against Northwestern?
A. I'm expecting him to play every down. Most of our guys go both ways, but he's got a concussion. I think maybe we'll platoon him a little at safety and punter.
Q. What are your first thoughts about Northwestern?
A. I've known [NU Coach] Ara [Parseghian] for a long time. I noticed that they experimented with some forward passes in their first game against Texas Christian. I'm not really surprised that they stopped doing that once the Big Ten conference season began.
Q. Good luck on Saturday, Coach.
A. What the hell is that black and grey thing?
Q. It's a microphone.
A. I don't care what it is. I think it's got the demon!
But we may as well look at the players too. PSU plays two QBs: Zack Mills and QB/WR Michael Robinson. Robinson is also the leader receiver (in yards.) The team has one of the best defenses in the Big Ten, and one of (if not) the worst offenses. So, who knows what that means? It means NU's O and D just need to play like they can, and not like they have sometimes.
And, wearing blue and white:
From parts confusing: Lee Kuzemchak (So. DT) from Indiana, PA.
Everything but the: Adam Senk (Jr. RB)
It's no BenJarvis, but it's a start: BranDon Snow (So. LB)
And: Weber, Palmer, Kilmer (I hardly even know Mer!), Ganter, Ganter, Connor, Bauer.
GO CATS!
I usually look at on-the-field match-ups when I do this, but I think one of our strengths this week will be on the sidelines. I don't want to say that Joe Pa is old and crotchety, but just take a look at this snippet from the Lions' coach's weekly press conference.
Q. Do you feel better about the offense after getting in the endzone against OSU?
A. I feel great. If we score 10 points every week, we should win some games. Twenty-one in a game is unrealistic to expect from most opponents.
Q. Is [QB Zack] Mills going to see much time against Northwestern?
A. I'm expecting him to play every down. Most of our guys go both ways, but he's got a concussion. I think maybe we'll platoon him a little at safety and punter.
Q. What are your first thoughts about Northwestern?
A. I've known [NU Coach] Ara [Parseghian] for a long time. I noticed that they experimented with some forward passes in their first game against Texas Christian. I'm not really surprised that they stopped doing that once the Big Ten conference season began.
Q. Good luck on Saturday, Coach.
A. What the hell is that black and grey thing?
Q. It's a microphone.
A. I don't care what it is. I think it's got the demon!
But we may as well look at the players too. PSU plays two QBs: Zack Mills and QB/WR Michael Robinson. Robinson is also the leader receiver (in yards.) The team has one of the best defenses in the Big Ten, and one of (if not) the worst offenses. So, who knows what that means? It means NU's O and D just need to play like they can, and not like they have sometimes.
And, wearing blue and white:
From parts confusing: Lee Kuzemchak (So. DT) from Indiana, PA.
Everything but the: Adam Senk (Jr. RB)
It's no BenJarvis, but it's a start: BranDon Snow (So. LB)
And: Weber, Palmer, Kilmer (I hardly even know Mer!), Ganter, Ganter, Connor, Bauer.
GO CATS!
Monday, November 01, 2004
NU 13, Purdue 10
Well, ok. I guess since he just got out of the hospital, Randy Walker had the emotional edge in the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU +2 (0 by, 2 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 4.8, Purdue 4.9. So, you know good for him. Also good for me, since I'd be perfectly happy if we had zero passing yards and still won.
In other prediction news, I was off by about 10,000 fans in total attendance and I predicted almost exactly twice as many points. But I totally had the proportions right! So, I'm calling this a moral victory for my prediction powers. Oh, yeah. The Cats won too.
Could it be that Homecoming actually has a positive impact on Northwestern's play? Well, not just in the way that you're thinking! I think I've seen us go at least 3-4 on homecoming since I started at NU.
And, just to wrap up the weekend. The Eagles won to go 7-0. I got 0 trick-or-treaters, which means I have candy in places I never knew candy could be. And it feels great.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: I'm willing to blame the wind a little but 11 for 30 is not good with the passing.
Cats' D: Way to be! Knocking out a QB, while ethically hazy, is super-sweet.
Cats' Special Teams: Ugh! I don't know what to say. I didn't like our returns or punts. But the coverage was ok mostly. Cept that once.
Go Cats! Beat the Lions!
In other prediction news, I was off by about 10,000 fans in total attendance and I predicted almost exactly twice as many points. But I totally had the proportions right! So, I'm calling this a moral victory for my prediction powers. Oh, yeah. The Cats won too.
Could it be that Homecoming actually has a positive impact on Northwestern's play? Well, not just in the way that you're thinking! I think I've seen us go at least 3-4 on homecoming since I started at NU.
And, just to wrap up the weekend. The Eagles won to go 7-0. I got 0 trick-or-treaters, which means I have candy in places I never knew candy could be. And it feels great.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: I'm willing to blame the wind a little but 11 for 30 is not good with the passing.
Cats' D: Way to be! Knocking out a QB, while ethically hazy, is super-sweet.
Cats' Special Teams: Ugh! I don't know what to say. I didn't like our returns or punts. But the coverage was ok mostly. Cept that once.
Go Cats! Beat the Lions!
Friday, October 29, 2004
Purdue Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
Damn! I forgot again! What the hell is wrong with me. But hey, at
least I reduced my inbox from 475 messages to 133.
Ummm. Purdue walks. Also, they're stupid. Thus, they will try to walk
to Evanston from West Lafayette starting tomorrow morning, not realizing
that they won't make it in time for the game.
Where does the weather figure in? It doesn't. But more drunkies will
come to the game if it's nice, so I think it's going to be 65 and sunny.
Sorry for the lameness, but I'm late for an appointment with my bed.
Jantz
least I reduced my inbox from 475 messages to 133.
Ummm. Purdue walks. Also, they're stupid. Thus, they will try to walk
to Evanston from West Lafayette starting tomorrow morning, not realizing
that they won't make it in time for the game.
Where does the weather figure in? It doesn't. But more drunkies will
come to the game if it's nice, so I think it's going to be 65 and sunny.
Sorry for the lameness, but I'm late for an appointment with my bed.
Jantz
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Purdue Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...you'll ever put the odds or point spread in here without being reminded.
Boy, it sure seems like the answer is no. But I guess we can always hope that memory wins once or twice. I'm seeing Purdue -9.5 and an O/U of 54.
...there will be more than 40 kilopeople at the game on Saturday.
Yes, I think there will. The 11 o'clock start might make it one of those trickle-in type of crowds.
...there will be more than 30 kiloNorthwestern-fans.
That's a tough one. I'm gonna go with the heart and say "yes" cuz it's homecoming.
...there's a great Purdue fight song parody.
Not really. There's a great song about the good people from West Lafayette.
Oh, give me a school where the "students"* play pool
And the cows roam the campus all day
Where seldom is heard an intelligent word
and the athletes get very high pay.
Moo, moo moo Purdue.
It's a school any fool can through
Where chimpanzees can get bachelors' degrees
And the Golden Girl strayed from the zoo.
* quotes are mine
...you can come up with something original.
Fine. I'll give it 10 minutes...no I gave up even sooner than that. No lyrics (in limited searching) plus stupid songs make Josh something something.
...there was anything worthwhile on the Purdue band website.
Yes. They have something called "Tuba Cadence and Band Cheer." I love me some tuba cadence.
...The "All-American" band really has the world's largest drum.
No. It's a common misunderstanding based in past confusion.
...you're gonna explain that.
Yeah you know it! Back in "the day" Purdue was looking for something worthwhile to distinguish itself. So they tried out the "world's larget (blank)" with little success. "The World's Largest Um....." was a common expression in the Purdue board rooms during brainstorming meetings. Unfortunately, a rogue reporter misheard one of these starter sentences and ran with it. So they had the band paint up the biggest assiest drum they had lying around.
...they then hit it with Q-tips.
Apparently.
...you're gonna go out on limb and pick the ApostroCats again.
It's not so much a limb, as a tree that grows where none other can flourish. Cats 27-Purdue 20.
...you'll ever put the odds or point spread in here without being reminded.
Boy, it sure seems like the answer is no. But I guess we can always hope that memory wins once or twice. I'm seeing Purdue -9.5 and an O/U of 54.
...there will be more than 40 kilopeople at the game on Saturday.
Yes, I think there will. The 11 o'clock start might make it one of those trickle-in type of crowds.
...there will be more than 30 kiloNorthwestern-fans.
That's a tough one. I'm gonna go with the heart and say "yes" cuz it's homecoming.
...there's a great Purdue fight song parody.
Not really. There's a great song about the good people from West Lafayette.
Oh, give me a school where the "students"* play pool
And the cows roam the campus all day
Where seldom is heard an intelligent word
and the athletes get very high pay.
Moo, moo moo Purdue.
It's a school any fool can through
Where chimpanzees can get bachelors' degrees
And the Golden Girl strayed from the zoo.
* quotes are mine
...you can come up with something original.
Fine. I'll give it 10 minutes...no I gave up even sooner than that. No lyrics (in limited searching) plus stupid songs make Josh something something.
...there was anything worthwhile on the Purdue band website.
Yes. They have something called "Tuba Cadence and Band Cheer." I love me some tuba cadence.
...The "All-American" band really has the world's largest drum.
No. It's a common misunderstanding based in past confusion.
...you're gonna explain that.
Yeah you know it! Back in "the day" Purdue was looking for something worthwhile to distinguish itself. So they tried out the "world's larget (blank)" with little success. "The World's Largest Um....." was a common expression in the Purdue board rooms during brainstorming meetings. Unfortunately, a rogue reporter misheard one of these starter sentences and ran with it. So they had the band paint up the biggest assiest drum they had lying around.
...they then hit it with Q-tips.
Apparently.
...you're gonna go out on limb and pick the ApostroCats again.
It's not so much a limb, as a tree that grows where none other can flourish. Cats 27-Purdue 20.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Purdue Preview
Yay for Homecoming! Not only are the Cats coming back to Evanston to try for yet another home win, it's the one weekend of the year when alumni (such as myself) are welcomed with open arms. Instead of being pushed gently (or strongly) away. And a big welcome home to NU coach Randy Walker after his stay in the hospital. We here (which is just me, but still) wish him speedy recovery and hope to see him healthy in whatever capacity on Saturday.
On to the game. Purdue comes in ranked in the top 25 after two tough losses in a row. NU had a loss of its own last week to one of those teams - Wisconsin. So, one of us will have to win. I'd just as soon it be the Cats, if it's all the same to you. I know the Boilers have a great QB in Kyle Orton and a receiver in Taylor Stubblefield. I say that's not enough and that the NU defense will show something just like last year at HC. So let's put that aside and look at something really important.
Homecoming. There's probably a ton of things for students and alumni to do during homecoming weekend. I don't really know what any of them are, so I'll be sticking to the basics:
* Leave work early "because I need time to get ready"
* Chill/eat/rehearse with NUMBalums
* Parade around like a ninny
* More chillin' & boozin'
* Gameday: amaze the assembled CatsFans with marching/playing prowess, Cats Win
* More chillin'
* More boozin'
I mean, I don't really think any "events" or "other things" can beat that master plan.
But just in case you read this because of the football "content," here's some funny Purdueness:
A different -- lamer -- homecoming: Dubler (Jr. CB from Gurnee), Hare (Jr. WR from Arlington Hts), Tranowski (Jr. DT from Wheaton), & Patton and Martin (from Chicago).
D'ya blow me, almost?: Anthony Heygood (Fr. RB)
Maybe not a girl's name, but I mean, c'mon: Fabian Martin (Fr. WR)
Even better than Heygood: Brian Wood (Fr. RB)
and not least: Walker, Turner, Spencer, Sester, Painter (hee hee), Oliver, Miller, Leimberger, Lecklider, Keglar, Grover, Golder, Fincher, Baker (ouch!).
GO CATS!
On to the game. Purdue comes in ranked in the top 25 after two tough losses in a row. NU had a loss of its own last week to one of those teams - Wisconsin. So, one of us will have to win. I'd just as soon it be the Cats, if it's all the same to you. I know the Boilers have a great QB in Kyle Orton and a receiver in Taylor Stubblefield. I say that's not enough and that the NU defense will show something just like last year at HC. So let's put that aside and look at something really important.
Homecoming. There's probably a ton of things for students and alumni to do during homecoming weekend. I don't really know what any of them are, so I'll be sticking to the basics:
* Leave work early "because I need time to get ready"
* Chill/eat/rehearse with NUMBalums
* Parade around like a ninny
* More chillin' & boozin'
* Gameday: amaze the assembled CatsFans with marching/playing prowess, Cats Win
* More chillin'
* More boozin'
I mean, I don't really think any "events" or "other things" can beat that master plan.
But just in case you read this because of the football "content," here's some funny Purdueness:
A different -- lamer -- homecoming: Dubler (Jr. CB from Gurnee), Hare (Jr. WR from Arlington Hts), Tranowski (Jr. DT from Wheaton), & Patton and Martin (from Chicago).
D'ya blow me, almost?: Anthony Heygood (Fr. RB)
Maybe not a girl's name, but I mean, c'mon: Fabian Martin (Fr. WR)
Even better than Heygood: Brian Wood (Fr. RB)
and not least: Walker, Turner, Spencer, Sester, Painter (hee hee), Oliver, Miller, Leimberger, Lecklider, Keglar, Grover, Golder, Fincher, Baker (ouch!).
GO CATS!
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Wisconsin 24, NU 12
I've gotta say this. Madison was not as bad as I imagined it would be. I expected our seats to be surrounded on all sides by Badger fans, and I thought they'd be throwing batteries (car batteries), feces and what have they. As it was, our seats were among the calmer, more experienced (read: old) alums. The worst fan-based experience came from some unknown NU "supporters" nearby. I can only assume that when one of those young men twists a knee rollerblading to class, Marvin Ward will stand over him and yell "Get up, p-----! What the f--- are you doing going to class if you're just going to f--- up and hurt yourself?!"
On to the action. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. No wait. That was different. Much less than that happened in the beginning on Saturday. Points scored? 3. Turnovers? You know it. Much else? Not really. Then things happened and we all got sad. Sad to the tune of 0-17 at halftime.
And, despite two second half touchdowns by the ApostroCats, NU's defense wasn't solid enough to make up for a very bad day by Bret Basanez through air. Once again we get the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU +1 (1 by, 2 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 4.3, UW 8.1. Now, I don't believe we necessarily need to have a greater PYpA than our opponents. Just maybe greater than 6 or 6.5. 4.3? I think not.
Anyway. Another Big Ten stadium crossed off my personal checklist. I need Ross-Ade (Purdue) and Michigan Stadium. It'll take a couple more years.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Not too bad. I mean, we could'a beat Penn State and Iowa combined.
Cats' D: Too many big plays. As is usual in our losses.
Cats' Spesh: Very good kick coverage against Jim"my" Leonhard. Another Huffman ick-fest kept us out of the running. Who's our next place-kicker? I'd like to see him this season.
Go Cats! Beat the Boilermakers! Go alums! Drink some boilermakers!
On to the action. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. No wait. That was different. Much less than that happened in the beginning on Saturday. Points scored? 3. Turnovers? You know it. Much else? Not really. Then things happened and we all got sad. Sad to the tune of 0-17 at halftime.
And, despite two second half touchdowns by the ApostroCats, NU's defense wasn't solid enough to make up for a very bad day by Bret Basanez through air. Once again we get the Randy Walker-Josh Held Predicto-Stat Showdown. Turnover Margin: NU +1 (1 by, 2 forced). Passing yds per attempt: NU 4.3, UW 8.1. Now, I don't believe we necessarily need to have a greater PYpA than our opponents. Just maybe greater than 6 or 6.5. 4.3? I think not.
Anyway. Another Big Ten stadium crossed off my personal checklist. I need Ross-Ade (Purdue) and Michigan Stadium. It'll take a couple more years.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Not too bad. I mean, we could'a beat Penn State and Iowa combined.
Cats' D: Too many big plays. As is usual in our losses.
Cats' Spesh: Very good kick coverage against Jim"my" Leonhard. Another Huffman ick-fest kept us out of the running. Who's our next place-kicker? I'd like to see him this season.
Go Cats! Beat the Boilermakers! Go alums! Drink some boilermakers!
Friday, October 22, 2004
Wisconsin Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
* Please note: portions of this weather report have been previously
used with a successful outcome. Should this method be successful once
again, a tradition will have been formed. Said tradition will be
governed by the Northwestern University Marching Band Traditions
Committee, which is any and all members who are old. All decisions by
the Traditions Committee are final. Whiners will be prosecuted to the
full extent of the law, which includes death and/or spam.
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger,
badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM.....
This weekend's forecast calls for the same beer, cheese, and porn
showers that continually rape the entire state of Wisconsin. The
Badgers will rapidly become intoxicated, saturated with lactose, and
horny, making them the same as they always are. The 'Cats will not be
distracted by such foolishness, and thus will crush them until they
puke, lactate, and secrete other bodily fluids all at the same time.
SNAKE! SNAKE! Ooh, it's a SNAKE,
Jantz
P.S. I told you they'd get better as I became more sleep-deprived.
P.P.S. Where better = funnier.
P.P.P.S. Where funnier = much more disgusting.
P.P.P.P.S. Where disgusting = Wisconsin-like
used with a successful outcome. Should this method be successful once
again, a tradition will have been formed. Said tradition will be
governed by the Northwestern University Marching Band Traditions
Committee, which is any and all members who are old. All decisions by
the Traditions Committee are final. Whiners will be prosecuted to the
full extent of the law, which includes death and/or spam.
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger,
badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM.....
This weekend's forecast calls for the same beer, cheese, and porn
showers that continually rape the entire state of Wisconsin. The
Badgers will rapidly become intoxicated, saturated with lactose, and
horny, making them the same as they always are. The 'Cats will not be
distracted by such foolishness, and thus will crush them until they
puke, lactate, and secrete other bodily fluids all at the same time.
SNAKE! SNAKE! Ooh, it's a SNAKE,
Jantz
P.S. I told you they'd get better as I became more sleep-deprived.
P.P.S. Where better = funnier.
P.P.P.S. Where funnier = much more disgusting.
P.P.P.P.S. Where disgusting = Wisconsin-like
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wisconsin Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...a line for this game.
Yes sir. Wisconsin -12.5, O/U 43.5. I think that's reasonable. I'm kind of hoping that the over is a bad bet though.
...Saturday is your father's bday.
It totally is! A couple weeks ago, I got a very belated birthday gift in the form of the win over OSU. Maybe the A-Cats will be in the same giving mood this weekend.
...he has any real rooting interest in the Badgers losing.
Well, I know he roots for NU. Plus he went to Minnesota, so he's probably all about beating Wisconsin and all about Paul Bunyan's Axe.
...he...wait? Wuh? Paul Bunyan's Axe?
I know! It's the trophy that the Gophers and Badgers play for. It was originated after the "Slab of Bacon" travelling trophy. Seriously. Slab of Bacon. Check it out.
...this isn't supposed to about Northwestern.
No. This is about me. But, I take your point.
...Wisconsin QB John "don't give me a nickname" Stocco did an ESPN.com chat yesterday.
Yes.
...he totally broke down and just started posting all of the Badgers' offensive plays online.
No.
...he totally broke down and just started posting all of his mom's recipes for Whuppin His Ass Soup.
Yes.
...you're gonna be rockin Camp Randall on Saturday.
Yes. If by "rockin" you mean hiding in the midst of as many large NU fans/bodyguards as possible.
...you really think NU can win this one.
I totally do. It'll take a lot of special play from O and D. Fine, and the special teams. I'm picking NU to upset Wisconsin to the tune of 14-10.
...a line for this game.
Yes sir. Wisconsin -12.5, O/U 43.5. I think that's reasonable. I'm kind of hoping that the over is a bad bet though.
...Saturday is your father's bday.
It totally is! A couple weeks ago, I got a very belated birthday gift in the form of the win over OSU. Maybe the A-Cats will be in the same giving mood this weekend.
...he has any real rooting interest in the Badgers losing.
Well, I know he roots for NU. Plus he went to Minnesota, so he's probably all about beating Wisconsin and all about Paul Bunyan's Axe.
...he...wait? Wuh? Paul Bunyan's Axe?
I know! It's the trophy that the Gophers and Badgers play for. It was originated after the "Slab of Bacon" travelling trophy. Seriously. Slab of Bacon. Check it out.
...this isn't supposed to about Northwestern.
No. This is about me. But, I take your point.
...Wisconsin QB John "don't give me a nickname" Stocco did an ESPN.com chat yesterday.
Yes.
...he totally broke down and just started posting all of the Badgers' offensive plays online.
No.
...he totally broke down and just started posting all of his mom's recipes for Whuppin His Ass Soup.
Yes.
...you're gonna be rockin Camp Randall on Saturday.
Yes. If by "rockin" you mean hiding in the midst of as many large NU fans/bodyguards as possible.
...you really think NU can win this one.
I totally do. It'll take a lot of special play from O and D. Fine, and the special teams. I'm picking NU to upset Wisconsin to the tune of 14-10.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Wisconsin Road Trip Guide
This Saturday, the Wildcats are headin' up to Wisconsin for an appointment with the Badgers. Yes, yes, I know: We don't need no stinkin' et cetera. But up there in the great red north they need the Badgers very badly. They have very little else to live for, what with the Pack being all dreadful and only minor league baseball and basketball teams.
So, in the interest of your health and happiness, here's
Everything you need to know for your Wisconsin road trip.
* Getting there is less than half the fun but more than half the trip
So, Madison is around 150 miles from Evanston. I think UW is the closest Big Ten "school." So that means you'll be driving and you'll probably take I-90 most of the way. That means tolls, tolls, tolls. In addition to paying the tolls (maybe about $2 all together) blast the opening lines of Money (That's What I Want) at the toll-booth operator. They love it, I promise. If you don't have that track available, just sing it, baby:
(dun nuh nuh nuh!)
The best things in life are free
(dun nuh nuh nuh!)
But you can keep them for the birds and bees
Give me money (that's what I want)
That's what I want (that's what I want)
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want
* Ok, I'm here. Now what?
Well, now's when I remember that you should've got a ticket before you left Evvy. Whoops! But if you actually do have a ticket, head for Camp Randall Stadium on the west side of campus. Once you go in, you'll be among 76,000 spittle-emiting Badger fans. Do not express your pity for them, as they understand not your human-feelings. They won't expect to understand you, and they'll probably be afraid, because they'll recognize you as a purple-clad Adonis (or Adonesse if you're a lady?).
* I'll be driving in Wisconsin for a few hours on Saturday. Anything I should look for?
We all know the official motto of Wisconsin is "Cows & Cheese & Beer & Porn," but let's dig a little deeper. In fact let's go to Amanda who's on the scene now with an in-depth report.
See you in Madison!
So, in the interest of your health and happiness, here's
Everything you need to know for your Wisconsin road trip.
* Getting there is less than half the fun but more than half the trip
So, Madison is around 150 miles from Evanston. I think UW is the closest Big Ten "school." So that means you'll be driving and you'll probably take I-90 most of the way. That means tolls, tolls, tolls. In addition to paying the tolls (maybe about $2 all together) blast the opening lines of Money (That's What I Want) at the toll-booth operator. They love it, I promise. If you don't have that track available, just sing it, baby:
(dun nuh nuh nuh!)
The best things in life are free
(dun nuh nuh nuh!)
But you can keep them for the birds and bees
Give me money (that's what I want)
That's what I want (that's what I want)
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want
* Ok, I'm here. Now what?
Well, now's when I remember that you should've got a ticket before you left Evvy. Whoops! But if you actually do have a ticket, head for Camp Randall Stadium on the west side of campus. Once you go in, you'll be among 76,000 spittle-emiting Badger fans. Do not express your pity for them, as they understand not your human-feelings. They won't expect to understand you, and they'll probably be afraid, because they'll recognize you as a purple-clad Adonis (or Adonesse if you're a lady?).
* I'll be driving in Wisconsin for a few hours on Saturday. Anything I should look for?
We all know the official motto of Wisconsin is "Cows & Cheese & Beer & Porn," but let's dig a little deeper. In fact let's go to Amanda who's on the scene now with an in-depth report.
Well, there is more to Wisconsin than just your little motto, but let's look at those things first:Wow! This was a pretty comprehensive report. Expect less (from me, not Amanda) in the future!
Cows-
The official state domestic animal is the dairy cow. There are more than 1.3 million cows in the state.
Beer-
Known as the Beer Capital of the United States, besides having both Milwaukee and LaCrosse claiming to have the highest number of bars per capita (both different specifics), the state [has] probably one of the highest [bars per capita] in the 48 states. It is also home to many manufacturers, such as Point, Miller, Sprecher and Leinenkugels.
Cheese-
Is the largest producer of cheese in the nation (duh!), making 350 varieties of cheese. They make cheese for 86 million people. They also produce large amounts of butter and milk. Cheese-making requires a cheese-maker's license; Limburger cheese-making requires a master cheese-maker's license. If you want to buy limburger cheese, WI is the place to go. Chalet Cheese Co-op in Monroe is the only cheese factory in the United States that still makes the notoriously odd-smelling limburger variety of cheese.
Porn-
Watch for all the adult stores along the highway. Enough said.
Wisconsin is also known for hunting. The opening day of deer season is a school holiday in many districts. There are 800,000 deer in the woods, but I don't know if that's before or after hunting season. There is also a season for almost anything, so watch it!
Food hints: Cheese curds can mean two things. They can be the chunks of cheese, either yellow or white, that when fresh, squeak. They can also be breaded and deep fried. Both are amazing and should be enjoyed! In other food items, fish frys are very popular and in fact, Milwaukee has the highest number of those per capita as well.
Weather: It could be snowing this game day so be prepared. You may want to stock your vehicle with a winter survival kit as well, because you never know if you will end up in a ditch in the middle of nowhere and have to dig your car out/sleep in your car (many places are not traveled much). This also means bring winter weather gear such as blaze orange stocking caps, camouflage gloves and flannel shirts.
Laws to be aware of:
*Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads.
*At one time, margarine was illegal. As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned. So don't try to smuggle a case of Oleo in!
*If you hit a deer with your car, if you call the police and get a tag for it, you can keep it!
And after soundly crushing the Badgers, if you would like to travel further in Wisconsin, here are some other winning places to go:
*Hayward, home to the largest muskie in the world.
*Sheboygan, the Bratwurst Capital of the World.
*If you are here Labor Day weekend, you should check out The Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw in Sauk Prairie, which draws 40,000 spectators.
*Mount Horeb, home to internationally known Mustard Museum, containing the world's largest collection of mustards (more than 3,500 different varieties).
See you in Madison!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Wisconsin Preview
That was an exciting bye week, huh? What? Don't tell me that you weren't thrilled by Pitt's OT win over BC! It's like I hardly even know you anymore. And some kind of thing with Purdue and someone else I think. Maybe it was the team we get on Saturday. I was too stoked about the Panthers to care. Oh and speaking of Panthers, how 'bout them Eagles!
ANYway. It's road-tripping time at a campus 70 or so miles northwest of the college formerly known as George Williams. Yes, the ApostroCats are travelling to Madison, Wisconsin to take on the 0-and-2-against-NU-lately Badgers (#7/6). Many of us are going along to witness the serving of raw badger-meat. So, for those of you going to the game, and those watching on ESPN, here's what you'll want to know.
* The UW defense was led by DE, Erasmus James. Isn't that a great name? Erasmus. Erasmus. Sorry. Erasmus (I said it again) won't be available Saturday due to an injury he sustained against Purdue last week. Undefeated Wisconsin does field one of the top-rated defenses in the country, but I would argue that they have played some weak teams before last week: Central Florida (0-6), UNLV (2-5), Arizona (1-5), Illinois (2-5,0-4), Penn State (2-4,0-3), and OSU (3-3,0-3).
* The Badger offense is "led" by sophomore QB John Stocco. He's not been impressive, so it's a good thing (for him) the offense is led by senior RB Anthony Davis. He's been back for three games since an injury and has rushed for over 160 yards in two of those. Last year in NU's 16-7 win, Davis went out with an early injury.
*Erasmus, Erasmus, Erasmus, Erasmus, some other guys' names, & Erasmus:
Won't you be my neighbor: It's Wisconsin, so there's lots of guys from Wheaton (Bell), Chicago (Cowans, Cribbs, Jefferson, Standring, Timbers, Tobias), Naperville (Daniels) and et cetera.
My brother could beat you up: Paul Standring (RS Fr, P) is the younger brother of former NU punter J.J, and Marcus Randal El (Fr, QB) is the younger brother of Indiana Hoosier and Pittsburgh Steeler Antwaan.
Don't call me Anthony Thomas: Anthony Davis (Sr, RB)
Please call me Jim Sorgi: John Stocco (So, QB)
That's "Coach" Krzyzewski: Mark Zelewski (So, LB)
At least Erasmus isn't a girl's name: Demi Omole (Fr, WR)
Thank God I hardly know 'em: Weininger, Walker, Walker, Stellmacher, Rentmeester, Holzbauer, Fuller,
GO CATS!
ANYway. It's road-tripping time at a campus 70 or so miles northwest of the college formerly known as George Williams. Yes, the ApostroCats are travelling to Madison, Wisconsin to take on the 0-and-2-against-NU-lately Badgers (#7/6). Many of us are going along to witness the serving of raw badger-meat. So, for those of you going to the game, and those watching on ESPN, here's what you'll want to know.
* The UW defense was led by DE, Erasmus James. Isn't that a great name? Erasmus. Erasmus. Sorry. Erasmus (I said it again) won't be available Saturday due to an injury he sustained against Purdue last week. Undefeated Wisconsin does field one of the top-rated defenses in the country, but I would argue that they have played some weak teams before last week: Central Florida (0-6), UNLV (2-5), Arizona (1-5), Illinois (2-5,0-4), Penn State (2-4,0-3), and OSU (3-3,0-3).
* The Badger offense is "led" by sophomore QB John Stocco. He's not been impressive, so it's a good thing (for him) the offense is led by senior RB Anthony Davis. He's been back for three games since an injury and has rushed for over 160 yards in two of those. Last year in NU's 16-7 win, Davis went out with an early injury.
*Erasmus, Erasmus, Erasmus, Erasmus, some other guys' names, & Erasmus:
Won't you be my neighbor: It's Wisconsin, so there's lots of guys from Wheaton (Bell), Chicago (Cowans, Cribbs, Jefferson, Standring, Timbers, Tobias), Naperville (Daniels) and et cetera.
My brother could beat you up: Paul Standring (RS Fr, P) is the younger brother of former NU punter J.J, and Marcus Randal El (Fr, QB) is the younger brother of Indiana Hoosier and Pittsburgh Steeler Antwaan.
Don't call me Anthony Thomas: Anthony Davis (Sr, RB)
Please call me Jim Sorgi: John Stocco (So, QB)
That's "Coach" Krzyzewski: Mark Zelewski (So, LB)
At least Erasmus isn't a girl's name: Demi Omole (Fr, WR)
Thank God I hardly know 'em: Weininger, Walker, Walker, Stellmacher, Rentmeester, Holzbauer, Fuller,
GO CATS!
Friday, October 15, 2004
BYE Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...Randy Walker will design plays this week, based on the Wisconsin-Purdue game.
Yes.
...that's the same first question as last year's bye week whether report.
Yes it is. You're pretty damn sharp.
...you've got some picks for some other games.
Sure do. How about...Michigan 28-Illinois 14, Minnesota 27-MSU 20, OSU 17-Iowa 13, Purdue 20-Wisconsin 14. Also...Eagles 21-Panthers 10.
...your track record this year indicates that everyone should wager based on your picks.
Uh. Probably not. I haven't checked, but I'm probably under .500 picking against the spread and even worse picking winners.
...you want another crack at that last one, for those of us who need the action.
Yeah. I meant, um, those are my "Iron-clad Locks of the Week." Guaranteed or no money back.
...it's a short one this week.
Yup. I'm already resting up for some serious a) football-watching, b) drink-drinking and c) even more of a and b.
...Randy Walker will design plays this week, based on the Wisconsin-Purdue game.
Yes.
...that's the same first question as last year's bye week whether report.
Yes it is. You're pretty damn sharp.
...you've got some picks for some other games.
Sure do. How about...Michigan 28-Illinois 14, Minnesota 27-MSU 20, OSU 17-Iowa 13, Purdue 20-Wisconsin 14. Also...Eagles 21-Panthers 10.
...your track record this year indicates that everyone should wager based on your picks.
Uh. Probably not. I haven't checked, but I'm probably under .500 picking against the spread and even worse picking winners.
...you want another crack at that last one, for those of us who need the action.
Yeah. I meant, um, those are my "Iron-clad Locks of the Week." Guaranteed or no money back.
...it's a short one this week.
Yup. I'm already resting up for some serious a) football-watching, b) drink-drinking and c) even more of a and b.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
BYE Week Preview
Well, after last year's divergence into etymology, I think we can all enjoy something different during Bye Week 2004. I had an original idea: How about I talk about football? Needless to say, I was bowled over by my own genius. So, I'll be all over the four Big Ten matchups this week, plus some other awesomeness from around the country.
* Michigan @ Illinois: I know this game is at U of I and all, but I do not believe that Illinois can break its streak of conferense losses. If you wanna see that, get tickets to the Iowa or Indiana games in November. Maybe.
* Minnesota @ MSU: Probably the most boring game of the weekend in this conference. Unless it features 700+ yards by the Gophers or the triumphant return of Jeff Smoker!
* OSU @ Iowa: Ok. Maybe this is more boring. But I'm excited to see if Ohio State can manage to lose it's third straight game. I kinda think they'll win, and both teams will come out of the weekend 1-2 in the league.
* Wisconsin @ Purdue: Now we're talking. This is probably the most interesting game in the country this weekend. Maybe Virginia-FSU will surpass it. Or Texas-Mizzou. The winner of this game is probably the prohibitive favorite to win the Big Ten championship, and will be the only undefeated (overall) team in the conference. I'm all a-twitter. You can bet "ESPN2" will be burned into the corner of my TV screen by 7:30 on Saturday.
And, because I liked it so much last year...
* Around the country in 80 words: A reprise of last year's feature. I'll try to hit a lot of games with very few words. Starting....now!
OU-KSU: I love me some 'Cats, but Sooners shall crush.
MTSU-Fla: Wha-happened? No more SEC?
ASU-USC: PAC-10 undefeateds. If not for Purdue-Wisconsin I'd be all over this.
Mizzou-UT: I just don't think the Tigers can cut it. They need that big-haired basketballer.
UCLA-Cal: Cal falls just a week after losing to USC. Famous alumna saddened.
UVa-FSU: Highest rankings facing each other. Meh.
Tenn-Ole Miss: Manning Bowl, 2004. Peyton wins.
* Michigan @ Illinois: I know this game is at U of I and all, but I do not believe that Illinois can break its streak of conferense losses. If you wanna see that, get tickets to the Iowa or Indiana games in November. Maybe.
* Minnesota @ MSU: Probably the most boring game of the weekend in this conference. Unless it features 700+ yards by the Gophers or the triumphant return of Jeff Smoker!
* OSU @ Iowa: Ok. Maybe this is more boring. But I'm excited to see if Ohio State can manage to lose it's third straight game. I kinda think they'll win, and both teams will come out of the weekend 1-2 in the league.
* Wisconsin @ Purdue: Now we're talking. This is probably the most interesting game in the country this weekend. Maybe Virginia-FSU will surpass it. Or Texas-Mizzou. The winner of this game is probably the prohibitive favorite to win the Big Ten championship, and will be the only undefeated (overall) team in the conference. I'm all a-twitter. You can bet "ESPN2" will be burned into the corner of my TV screen by 7:30 on Saturday.
And, because I liked it so much last year...
* Around the country in 80 words: A reprise of last year's feature. I'll try to hit a lot of games with very few words. Starting....now!
OU-KSU: I love me some 'Cats, but Sooners shall crush.
MTSU-Fla: Wha-happened? No more SEC?
ASU-USC: PAC-10 undefeateds. If not for Purdue-Wisconsin I'd be all over this.
Mizzou-UT: I just don't think the Tigers can cut it. They need that big-haired basketballer.
UCLA-Cal: Cal falls just a week after losing to USC. Famous alumna saddened.
UVa-FSU: Highest rankings facing each other. Meh.
Tenn-Ole Miss: Manning Bowl, 2004. Peyton wins.
Monday, October 11, 2004
NU 31, Indiana 24 (2 OT)
I am starting to regain the ability to breathe. It's nice, the breathing. In this game Randy's stat held true while mine was in the gutter. The result? A tough one for me to watch. Maybe the coach had a more enjoyable time than I did. For the record. NU Turnover margin: 2-1 (+1). Yards per pass attempt: NU 5.3, IU 6.6. 5.3? Ick. It's hard to believe that we threw 48 times AND rushed for over 200 yards. Which brings me to....
...Noah! Herron! So far this was the game in which we needed him most, and he had his best game Ever. He completely showed up BenJarvis No-Blocking (who was out-rushed by his QB! The indignity!) and won himself Big Ten Offensive Player of the Week honors. Nice one.
But.
On the other side of the NU football. The defense had a...um...bad?...difficult?...painful day. The front 4 (sometimes 3?) were nice. Good run-stoppers all. But everyone else seemed to be shocked by the injury to Jeff Backes and the loss of Nick Roach in the 1st half. I get that it's hard to come in for someone or adjust assignments on short notice. But come on. Bring a little more to it in the future. I'm talking to you: Herschel Henderson, Brian Heinz, & Brandon Roberson (who gets 1/2-credit for being a freshman).
But thanks to all for a win. It was there for the taking, and we needed it. You all deserve a bye. What a convenient time to have one then.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Well. Ick again to the passing game. But Noah Herron saved the offense with his career day.
Cats' D: Uh. That secondary needs a little strengthening. I guess Backes will help if he's back after the bye.
Cats' Special Teams: Great punt coverage against the best punt return team in the league. Mostly solid kickoffs from Howells. Huffman needs to get back on track again. DOINK!
Go Cats! Beat the Badgers! Eventually! I mean in two weeks! It's over!
...Noah! Herron! So far this was the game in which we needed him most, and he had his best game Ever. He completely showed up BenJarvis No-Blocking (who was out-rushed by his QB! The indignity!) and won himself Big Ten Offensive Player of the Week honors. Nice one.
But.
On the other side of the NU football. The defense had a...um...bad?...difficult?...painful day. The front 4 (sometimes 3?) were nice. Good run-stoppers all. But everyone else seemed to be shocked by the injury to Jeff Backes and the loss of Nick Roach in the 1st half. I get that it's hard to come in for someone or adjust assignments on short notice. But come on. Bring a little more to it in the future. I'm talking to you: Herschel Henderson, Brian Heinz, & Brandon Roberson (who gets 1/2-credit for being a freshman).
But thanks to all for a win. It was there for the taking, and we needed it. You all deserve a bye. What a convenient time to have one then.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Well. Ick again to the passing game. But Noah Herron saved the offense with his career day.
Cats' D: Uh. That secondary needs a little strengthening. I guess Backes will help if he's back after the bye.
Cats' Special Teams: Great punt coverage against the best punt return team in the league. Mostly solid kickoffs from Howells. Huffman needs to get back on track again. DOINK!
Go Cats! Beat the Badgers! Eventually! I mean in two weeks! It's over!
Friday, October 08, 2004
Indiana Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
The weather in Evanston tomorrow will be clear and sunny. In Indiana, however, some sort of storm-thingy will destroy all of the corn fields. The Hoosiers, devastated by the loss of their primary form of entertainment (yes, I know this really applies more to Iowa, but you can just deal with it), will try to drink their sorrows away, and will show up to the game with hangovers (yes, I know this is more like Wisconsin, but you can just deal with it) reminiscient of you-know-who (or maybe you-don't-know-who), making them easy to stun and kill.
Hoosier finger,
Jantz
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Indiana Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...NU is favored in this one.
Yes, indeed. I'm seeing NU -10.5. O/U is 59.5
...you've learned some interesting things about the state of Indiana.
I have. I'll save some for homecoming against Purdue. But here's a taste:
* Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
* In Santa Claus, IN (zip code 47579) --which is where the Post Office sends all the letters addressed to Santa -- there is a college there for department store Father Christmases that awards a BSC, Bachelor of Santa Clausing. The college issues pamphlets setting out rules and advice for its students regarding dress, deportment and conversation for practising Santas. (more thanks to Amanda for her research!)
...you've learned something interesting about IU coach Gary DiNardo.
You're totally on the ball today! I just found out that the head Hoosier spent a year as the coach of...wait for it...the XFL's Birmingham Thunderbolts.
...they were an awesome XFL team.
Oh no. Even there had been any awesome XFL teams, the 2-8 Thunderbolts were not.
...the Lugers are an awesome team.
Yup.
...by awesome, you mean last in the Big Ten in offense.
Yup.
...by awesome, you mean last in the Big Ten in defense.
Yup.
...you're perpetuating the under-estimation of IU that will result in the ApostroCats ultimate demise.
No. I'm telling it like it is. But I hope no one on the team reads this before Sunday.
...you've got a pick.
I've decided on NU 31, IU 17. Which means I'm picking NU to cover and taking the under. But don't forget that gambling is bad.
...NU is favored in this one.
Yes, indeed. I'm seeing NU -10.5. O/U is 59.5
...you've learned some interesting things about the state of Indiana.
I have. I'll save some for homecoming against Purdue. But here's a taste:
* Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
* In Santa Claus, IN (zip code 47579) --which is where the Post Office sends all the letters addressed to Santa -- there is a college there for department store Father Christmases that awards a BSC, Bachelor of Santa Clausing. The college issues pamphlets setting out rules and advice for its students regarding dress, deportment and conversation for practising Santas. (more thanks to Amanda for her research!)
...you've learned something interesting about IU coach Gary DiNardo.
You're totally on the ball today! I just found out that the head Hoosier spent a year as the coach of...wait for it...the XFL's Birmingham Thunderbolts.
...they were an awesome XFL team.
Oh no. Even there had been any awesome XFL teams, the 2-8 Thunderbolts were not.
...the Lugers are an awesome team.
Yup.
...by awesome, you mean last in the Big Ten in offense.
Yup.
...by awesome, you mean last in the Big Ten in defense.
Yup.
...you're perpetuating the under-estimation of IU that will result in the ApostroCats ultimate demise.
No. I'm telling it like it is. But I hope no one on the team reads this before Sunday.
...you've got a pick.
I've decided on NU 31, IU 17. Which means I'm picking NU to cover and taking the under. But don't forget that gambling is bad.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Indiana Preview
Ah. It's nice to be back on some sort of schedule for writing these things. It's also nice to be playing a team that I actually know a little bit about. Thanks to last week's night game, I was able to watch 20 minutes or so of IU's loss to Michigan.
What to look for from IU:
* Rushing - The Loosiers' ground game is based on "the back so nice they named him twice" BenJarvis Green-Ellis. The sophomore has taken over half of the team's carries and accumulated more than 60% of the total rushing yardage. He wears #7. And, in honor of his...er...unique nomenclature, I'll be upping the ante for his IU teammates this week. No player will be named with less than 4. names.
* Passing - IU is led in the huddle by 5th-year senior MattHarvey LoVecchio-Smitherstien. I'm pretty torn about this dude. One the one hand, he's from NJ. Which is sweet. On the other, he went to Notre Dame before Indiana. On the same second hand -- the bad one, for those of you keeping track -- he plays for Indiana. All in all, I think I'm inclined to fart in his general direction.. LoVeccio-Smitherstien (#10) is backed up by RS freshman BlakeSamuel Powers-Powers (#14). LV-S's favorite target this year has been senior wideout CourtneyJennifer Roby-Slippers. Wearing #19 for IU, he is the only player with more than 10 receptions on the year. Keeping him in check could be the name of the game.
Defensively, Indiana had a nice 2nd half against Michigan last week, but gave up big plays too often. NU should be able to use the spread offense effectively on Saturday to keep the good-but-not-great defense on its heels.
Meet the Hosers! (still 4 names. If you want the real ones, subtract the 2nd half of each)
* Get your ass back here - ChrisHenry Jahnke-Jibb (Sr, OL) from Evanston, IL.
* But even better! - KennyMike Love-Thirty (Fr, DT) from PENNINGTON, NJ! If this guy sees no time, I'll have no problem cheering for him. Even though he's officially a preppy and a Red Raider.
* Gets credit for trying to play my game - Herana-Daze Jones (REAL NAME ALERT) (Sr, S)
* What is it with seniors and not having a position? - KyleJohn Warriner-Doe (Sr, ?)
* Give the nice girls back their names - JodieAmy Clemons-Climes, CourtneyMelliza Clency-Clancy, CleoAurora Harbison-Orbison, TraceyUllman Porter-Cole, CourtneyJennifer Roby-Slippers.
* And as always (MORE REAL NAMES ALERT) - Warriner, Wagner, Spencer, Porter, Luster (ooh), Kremer (um), Hatcher (uh), Harker, Halterman, Halterman, Emerson, Braucher, Anderson.
GO CATS!
What to look for from IU:
* Rushing - The Loosiers' ground game is based on "the back so nice they named him twice" BenJarvis Green-Ellis. The sophomore has taken over half of the team's carries and accumulated more than 60% of the total rushing yardage. He wears #7. And, in honor of his...er...unique nomenclature, I'll be upping the ante for his IU teammates this week. No player will be named with less than 4. names.
* Passing - IU is led in the huddle by 5th-year senior MattHarvey LoVecchio-Smitherstien. I'm pretty torn about this dude. One the one hand, he's from NJ. Which is sweet. On the other, he went to Notre Dame before Indiana. On the same second hand -- the bad one, for those of you keeping track -- he plays for Indiana. All in all, I think I'm inclined to fart in his general direction.
Defensively, Indiana had a nice 2nd half against Michigan last week, but gave up big plays too often. NU should be able to use the spread offense effectively on Saturday to keep the good-but-not-great defense on its heels.
Meet the Hosers! (still 4 names. If you want the real ones, subtract the 2nd half of each)
* Get your ass back here - ChrisHenry Jahnke-Jibb (Sr, OL) from Evanston, IL.
* But even better! - KennyMike Love-Thirty (Fr, DT) from PENNINGTON, NJ! If this guy sees no time, I'll have no problem cheering for him. Even though he's officially a preppy and a Red Raider.
* Gets credit for trying to play my game - Herana-Daze Jones (REAL NAME ALERT) (Sr, S)
* What is it with seniors and not having a position? - KyleJohn Warriner-Doe (Sr, ?)
* Give the nice girls back their names - JodieAmy Clemons-Climes, CourtneyMelliza Clency-Clancy, CleoAurora Harbison-Orbison, TraceyUllman Porter-Cole, CourtneyJennifer Roby-Slippers.
* And as always (MORE REAL NAMES ALERT) - Warriner, Wagner, Spencer, Porter, Luster (ooh), Kremer (um), Hatcher (uh), Harker, Halterman, Halterman, Emerson, Braucher, Anderson.
GO CATS!
Monday, October 04, 2004
NU 33, Ohio State 27 (OT)
It's hard enough to write about a football game as big as the NU win over OSU on Saturday. Let alone the fact that I try (and often fail) at being funny. But this week, with the death of Frederick Lieb, it seems a little trite. So, I'll first direct you to some nice articles in The Daily's forum and sports sections. Now I'll just make a couple notes.
I should point out, because you all crave my infinite wisdom and point-out-ness, that my favorite stat held up again this week. Yard per pass attempt: NU 6.3, OSU 5.0. Now, 6.3 YPA isn't that great, but it's a lot better than 5.0. 5 is puh-oor. It's more of a statement about our suddenly decent pass coverage. Now, maybe we did use a lot of 5- and 6-back coverages. But we also held them to less than 100 yards on the ground. When you do that you can play Cover 3 defense all day if you want.
In other nice news, the win got a good reception from the conference and the country. Pickens was named the Big Ten Defensive Player of the Week in his first game back this year. And the Cats were named the Team of the Week by both the FWAA and SI (independently, I think.)
So, it's nice to be noticed, and it's nice to be the early 11 point favorite against Indiana next week. I hope this niceness lasts for a while.
Oh, and by the way. Mad props to the person that gets the clock tower purple so quickly after a win. That's epic.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: A couple more first downs and we could have iced the game during regulation, but it's hard to argue with 400+ yards and 33 points.
Cats' D: Pi-ckens. Clap clap. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really hope Backes isn't too hurt!
Cats' Special Teams: If forcing the opposing team to start from the 35-yard line is an art, then Joel Howells will go down in history as one of the great masters.
Go Cats! Beat the Hoosiers!
I should point out, because you all crave my infinite wisdom and point-out-ness, that my favorite stat held up again this week. Yard per pass attempt: NU 6.3, OSU 5.0. Now, 6.3 YPA isn't that great, but it's a lot better than 5.0. 5 is puh-oor. It's more of a statement about our suddenly decent pass coverage. Now, maybe we did use a lot of 5- and 6-back coverages. But we also held them to less than 100 yards on the ground. When you do that you can play Cover 3 defense all day if you want.
In other nice news, the win got a good reception from the conference and the country. Pickens was named the Big Ten Defensive Player of the Week in his first game back this year. And the Cats were named the Team of the Week by both the FWAA and SI (independently, I think.)
So, it's nice to be noticed, and it's nice to be the early 11 point favorite against Indiana next week. I hope this niceness lasts for a while.
Oh, and by the way. Mad props to the person that gets the clock tower purple so quickly after a win. That's epic.
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: A couple more first downs and we could have iced the game during regulation, but it's hard to argue with 400+ yards and 33 points.
Cats' D: Pi-ckens. Clap clap. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really hope Backes isn't too hurt!
Cats' Special Teams: If forcing the opposing team to start from the 35-yard line is an art, then Joel Howells will go down in history as one of the great masters.
Go Cats! Beat the Hoosiers!
Friday, October 01, 2004
Ohio State Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
Well, I cannot lie: my weather reports have only produced a 25% winning
percentage. However, the 'Cats are playing .500 ball when I give the
weather report and it's a home game, and 100% when the students are
there! So here goes:
Well, it's now October in Chicago. Thus, in a matter of hours, we will
be up to our waists in snow, which will remain until spring quarter. At
the same time, there is a large mass of air saturated with upset that is
making it's way to the Chicago area. This upset will precipitate in
said snow, which will hopelessly bury the Buckeyes so they cannot take
root and grow until the snow melts.
Go 'Cats!
Jantz
percentage. However, the 'Cats are playing .500 ball when I give the
weather report and it's a home game, and 100% when the students are
there! So here goes:
Well, it's now October in Chicago. Thus, in a matter of hours, we will
be up to our waists in snow, which will remain until spring quarter. At
the same time, there is a large mass of air saturated with upset that is
making it's way to the Chicago area. This upset will precipitate in
said snow, which will hopelessly bury the Buckeyes so they cannot take
root and grow until the snow melts.
Go 'Cats!
Jantz
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Ohio State Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...
I know. Here it is. OSU -15.5, O/U 45.5. Or something close to that by gametime.
...you've got anything to say about a certain losing streak to OSU.
Not really. I think all our teams have been doing a nice job of bustin' streaks in the last couple of years. It's about time for this one to fall, and we've played OSU prettty tough for the last two meetings.
...you say something a little pithier than that.
Streak Shmeak. All the time.
...you've got a fight song parody this week.
I don't. I've never liked all the hate-OSU-by-cheering-Michigan cheers and songs. I just can't bring myself to cheer Michigan for any reason. Just trust that I totally hate OSU too.
...there's another reason.
Yeah. I actually find that damn song a little catchy, and I can't stand the fact that it might end up in my head.
...you're gonna try to be more regular about posting these things from here on out.
I'm gonna try. It helps when I'm amused and can write awesome things.
...you've got good stuff about the state of Ohio this week.
Not right now. I might edit this with more before the game though. Look out for that!
...a pick this week from you.
As always, I shall pick NU. This time, I say NU 21, OSU 16. Look for Nugent to be active in the FG column and less in the PAT column.
...
I know. Here it is. OSU -15.5, O/U 45.5. Or something close to that by gametime.
...you've got anything to say about a certain losing streak to OSU.
Not really. I think all our teams have been doing a nice job of bustin' streaks in the last couple of years. It's about time for this one to fall, and we've played OSU prettty tough for the last two meetings.
...you say something a little pithier than that.
Streak Shmeak. All the time.
...you've got a fight song parody this week.
I don't. I've never liked all the hate-OSU-by-cheering-Michigan cheers and songs. I just can't bring myself to cheer Michigan for any reason. Just trust that I totally hate OSU too.
...there's another reason.
Yeah. I actually find that damn song a little catchy, and I can't stand the fact that it might end up in my head.
...you're gonna try to be more regular about posting these things from here on out.
I'm gonna try. It helps when I'm amused and can write awesome things.
...you've got good stuff about the state of Ohio this week.
Not right now. I might edit this with more before the game though. Look out for that!
...a pick this week from you.
As always, I shall pick NU. This time, I say NU 21, OSU 16. Look for Nugent to be active in the FG column and less in the PAT column.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Ohio State Preview
Another week, another rank(ed) Big Ten opponent. I feel like maybe I dropped the ball last week. So I'll try to bring my A-game to Dyche Saturday night, and now you can too. You'll be so prepared for tOSU (6 ESPN/7 AP) that you'll injure the person next to you. By the way, stay away from me. I bruise easily.
Early season OSU MVP: Mike "Ted" Nugent. He's a kicker. No seriously. Something like 30% of the Buckeye-related ESPN.com articles are about him. I swear we need to get some of those green foot fungus-bacteria-gremlins that I've seen on TV and hide them in the opposing locker room. Those guys are hideous, so I doubt anyone on OSU would notice that they don't belong in there.
OSU's offense: OSU is now led by sophomore thrower Justin Zwick. No, you've never heard of him. No, he's not exactly burning up the field. OSU is not offensively gifted this year and they score about as much as NU does. They've gone 3-0 by allowing less than 14 points per game.
* Ok, sidebar! I was looking at the Big Ten team offensive stats, and something struck me as odd. They list the following sub categories under Touchdowns: Pass, Rush, Receiving, Return and Total. Every team has the same number of passing and receiving TDs. HOW COULD YOU NOT!? Hello! End of sidebar.
And now it's time to berate the players for the names that they have very little control over. I love this part.
Note: Roster info from ESPN.com.
* Four years and you still don't know?? - Kyle Andrews. A senior. His position: "?"
* Bam is an onomatopoeia - Bam Childress (Sr, WR). Can you believe I spelled onomatopoeia right on the first try?
* It's a girls name - Nate Salley (Jr, S)
* It's DeGirl's name - Michael DeMaria (Sr, RB)
* It's a first name - Branden Joe (Sr, RB)
* The name so nice, I made fun of him twice (see last year)- Mike Kne (Sr, G)
* There's a biblical joke in here somewhere - Adam Olds and Chris Moses
* Shake shake shake, shake shake shake - Ashton Youboty (So, CB)
* NAMES THAT END IN -ER - Winner, Whitner, Skinner (ouch), Schnittker (um), Schlichter (um x2), Schafer, Parker, Miller, Kerr, Hoewischer, Franzinger, Culver, Coker.
GO CATS!
Early season OSU MVP: Mike "Ted" Nugent. He's a kicker. No seriously. Something like 30% of the Buckeye-related ESPN.com articles are about him. I swear we need to get some of those green foot fungus-bacteria-gremlins that I've seen on TV and hide them in the opposing locker room. Those guys are hideous, so I doubt anyone on OSU would notice that they don't belong in there.
OSU's offense: OSU is now led by sophomore thrower Justin Zwick. No, you've never heard of him. No, he's not exactly burning up the field. OSU is not offensively gifted this year and they score about as much as NU does. They've gone 3-0 by allowing less than 14 points per game.
* Ok, sidebar! I was looking at the Big Ten team offensive stats, and something struck me as odd. They list the following sub categories under Touchdowns: Pass, Rush, Receiving, Return and Total. Every team has the same number of passing and receiving TDs. HOW COULD YOU NOT!? Hello! End of sidebar.
And now it's time to berate the players for the names that they have very little control over. I love this part.
Note: Roster info from ESPN.com.
* Four years and you still don't know?? - Kyle Andrews. A senior. His position: "?"
* Bam is an onomatopoeia - Bam Childress (Sr, WR). Can you believe I spelled onomatopoeia right on the first try?
* It's a girls name - Nate Salley (Jr, S)
* It's DeGirl's name - Michael DeMaria (Sr, RB)
* It's a first name - Branden Joe (Sr, RB)
* The name so nice, I made fun of him twice (see last year)- Mike Kne (Sr, G)
* There's a biblical joke in here somewhere - Adam Olds and Chris Moses
* Shake shake shake, shake shake shake - Ashton Youboty (So, CB)
* NAMES THAT END IN -ER - Winner, Whitner, Skinner (ouch), Schnittker (um), Schlichter (um x2), Schafer, Parker, Miller, Kerr, Hoewischer, Franzinger, Culver, Coker.
GO CATS!
Monday, September 27, 2004
Minnesota 43, NU 17
-- --
Gentle Reader,
It might be beneficial for you to note that I watched the game at Tom and Ryan's where they have "Tivo" and it was my first experience with the digital video recorder. It is possible that it went to my head a little. Just a little. Just saying.
Sincerely,
The Powers That Be
-- --
So. That was a kind of lousy game. Not so much for making a fun review for me to write. Which you can tell, because I didn't write it til Thursday this week. Anyway, I'm thinking that I can take a page out of the Tivo book and re-visit some funnier things that are recorded forever. And then just fast-forward through the actual game review.
/beep/
Saturday's high is around 75 or 80,with a chance of rain./beep/ Bottom line: be prepared for anything./beep/Suck it, Orville./beep/the fairy who obviously smashed QB Basanez in the head/beep/"taking a piece of artwork from a city park and a street sign."/beep/Dial discrimination is everybody's problem./beep/You're really sick. I can't believe you thought of that. I was talking about football and you just had to ruin it. That's it, I'm leaving./beep/"Streak shmeak."/beep/-well, I love to say "Slade"/beep/"Ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for Touchdown Terrence and YOUR Delaware Fightin Blue Hens!"
/boop/
See, the great thing about a clip show is that I can save up just as much stuff for the next time I have to do a clip show. And you'll never know what hit you! MWAH HA HA HA! I mean
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Meh.
Cats' D: Feh. I think we kinda saw that one coming.
Cats' Spesh: Yeh. A beautiful kick return that wasn't enough. Maybe we need the ST out there more....no, we don't.
Go Cats! Beat the Buckeyes!
Gentle Reader,
It might be beneficial for you to note that I watched the game at Tom and Ryan's where they have "Tivo" and it was my first experience with the digital video recorder. It is possible that it went to my head a little. Just a little. Just saying.
Sincerely,
The Powers That Be
-- --
So. That was a kind of lousy game. Not so much for making a fun review for me to write. Which you can tell, because I didn't write it til Thursday this week. Anyway, I'm thinking that I can take a page out of the Tivo book and re-visit some funnier things that are recorded forever. And then just fast-forward through the actual game review.
/beep/
Saturday's high is around 75 or 80,with a chance of rain./beep/ Bottom line: be prepared for anything./beep/Suck it, Orville.
/boop/
See, the great thing about a clip show is that I can save up just as much stuff for the next time I have to do a clip show. And you'll never know what hit you! MWAH HA HA HA! I mean
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Meh.
Cats' D: Feh. I think we kinda saw that one coming.
Cats' Spesh: Yeh. A beautiful kick return that wasn't enough. Maybe we need the ST out there more....no, we don't.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Minnesota Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
I almost forgot!
It's a dome. The weather doesn't matter.
BUT......
The 'Cats will roar so loudly that the roof will collapse, killing most of the Gophers and thousands of fans. The rest of the team will be killed by other means (choose your own death!).
Go 'Cats,
Jantz
It's a dome. The weather doesn't matter.
BUT......
The 'Cats will roar so loudly that the roof will collapse, killing most of the Gophers and thousands of fans. The rest of the team will be killed by other means (choose your own death!).
Go 'Cats,
Jantz
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Minnesota Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...you forgot again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah: Minnesota -15.5, O/U 66.
...you read (Minnesota coach) Glen Mason's press conference notes from this week.
Yeah it was a snoozer. Cut the diplomacy already. That goes for everyone.
...you're just dying for an opposing coach or player to be a completely pompous idiot and "dis" NU.
You know it! I would feel these pages with his mistakes and fill my closet with his soul.
...you found a interesting tidbit on the Go-fer coaching staff.
I did! Running backs coach Vic Adamle. Yes, that kind of Adamle. Vic is the brother of NU standout and Chicago sports media icon Mike Adamle.
...you're all out of MN dumbness.
As if that was even possible.
Princess Kay of the Milky Way: No, it's not a joke or a bad sci-fi movie. Dairy princesses from all across the state [MN] compete for this annual title in a competition sponsored by the American Dairy Association of Minnesota. Each Princess Kay candidate is honrored by having an 85-pound block butter sculpted into a replica of her head. Watching butter sculptor Linda Christensen work inside a 38-degree cooler is one of the most popular attractions at the Minnesota State Fair. [This is quoted from an email, and I don't know the original source.]
...you meant...
Yes. They "compete...in a competition" and it's the "American Dairy Assoc. of Minnesota."
...you forgot to credit Amanda this week.
Ooh good catch! Yes, Amanda dug up the dirt about the land of 10,000 best ice-fishin' holes in state. Go!
...you've got a pick for us.
Yeah, what the hey. I'm gonna say NU 35, Minnesota 31. Northwestern will cavort through the Go-fers' bend-and-then-break defense like a hot knife through a butter replica of 2004 PKotMW Christina Rettmann. Maybe the same thing will happen with the Minnesota O and the NU D. Anyway, look for enough big stops from the ApostroCats defense. Cats eat Puck-Heads!
...you forgot again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah: Minnesota -15.5, O/U 66.
...you read (Minnesota coach) Glen Mason's press conference notes from this week.
Yeah it was a snoozer. Cut the diplomacy already. That goes for everyone.
...you're just dying for an opposing coach or player to be a completely pompous idiot and "dis" NU.
You know it! I would feel these pages with his mistakes and fill my closet with his soul.
...you found a interesting tidbit on the Go-fer coaching staff.
I did! Running backs coach Vic Adamle. Yes, that kind of Adamle. Vic is the brother of NU standout and Chicago sports media icon Mike Adamle.
...you're all out of MN dumbness.
As if that was even possible.
Princess Kay of the Milky Way: No, it's not a joke or a bad sci-fi movie. Dairy princesses from all across the state [MN] compete for this annual title in a competition sponsored by the American Dairy Association of Minnesota. Each Princess Kay candidate is honrored by having an 85-pound block butter sculpted into a replica of her head. Watching butter sculptor Linda Christensen work inside a 38-degree cooler is one of the most popular attractions at the Minnesota State Fair. [This is quoted from an email, and I don't know the original source.]
...you meant...
Yes. They "compete...in a competition" and it's the "American Dairy Assoc. of Minnesota."
...you forgot to credit Amanda this week.
Ooh good catch! Yes, Amanda dug up the dirt about the land of 10,000 best ice-fishin' holes in state. Go!
...you've got a pick for us.
Yeah, what the hey. I'm gonna say NU 35, Minnesota 31. Northwestern will cavort through the Go-fers' bend-and-then-break defense like a hot knife through a butter replica of 2004 PKotMW Christina Rettmann. Maybe the same thing will happen with the Minnesota O and the NU D. Anyway, look for enough big stops from the ApostroCats defense. Cats eat Puck-Heads!
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Minnesota Preview
Finally, the start of the Big Ten season. Last year we got out to a not-so-good start with a shut-out loss to Ohio State. I have to take a little bit of the blame for that one. It was my birthday, and I might have put a little too much pressure on the Cats to give me the gift of a victory. So, this year -- two days before my birthday -- I'll just watch and cheer like a normal person. But, if NU pulls a fast one and delivers a little something as an early gift...well, I'll promise to act surprised.
Speaking of Gophers (how's that for a segue!), I'll bet you were just about to ask if I know where that nickname comes from. It turns out that I do, and it's not what you think:
150 years ago or so, a young university in Minnesota was starting up its varsity athletics. And what sport did it start with? Well, hockey you dolt. Don't you know anything about the land of 10,000 tiny hockey rinks? And what did they call their varsity hockey team? As a result of a mix-up, they were called the "What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think." Not very catchy. And "Go! What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think!" doesn't exactly roll off one's tounge. But the school and team were stuck with the name until they could choose a better one.
Then, along comes football. The first teams at Minnesota were made up of the 4th- and 5th-team hockey players. As so often happens, the football-going fans knew much more about the game than the players, and they liked to razz the zone defenses run by the first football teams. "Go for the damn ball, you stupid puck-heads!" they would yell. And with time, the cheer was shortened to the familiar Go-fer or Gopher. We can only wish they were now called the Puck-Heads. Sigh.
And now, for the highlights -- or "filler" -- of my preview! Funny things found online about stuff.
The players!
* Girls names!! - Joe Ainslie (So, T), Dominique Barber (Fr, DB), Marion Barber III (Jr, RB), Dominique Sims (Sr, LB)
* You got some splainin' to do - Desi Steib (Fr, DB)
* It's still funny this year - Jarod Posthumus (Jr, TE)
* I hardly know...er... - Swaggert, Rucker (ooh, close), Melander, Lamers (no good?), Hightower, Eslinger, Dozier, Barber, Barber, Alexander
And the MN dumbness!
* Illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic/onions/sardines. (Alexandria. Also only city with all women officials)
* Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays (St. Cloud)
* No red cars allowed on Lake St. (Minneapolis)
* All bathtubs must have feet
* Also has the world's largest ball of twine. (Darwin. I can't wait until the next time Minnesota playes Kansas!)
* Illegal to enter Wisconsin with a duck on your head OR a chicken on your head.
Now, hang on. Is there an epidemic of fowl-headery (head-fowlery?) going on? Do we need like a Constitutional ammendment or something?
Well, that's all for now. More tomorrow in the Whether.
Go Cats! Eat the Puck-Heads!
Speaking of Gophers (how's that for a segue!), I'll bet you were just about to ask if I know where that nickname comes from. It turns out that I do, and it's not what you think:
150 years ago or so, a young university in Minnesota was starting up its varsity athletics. And what sport did it start with? Well, hockey you dolt. Don't you know anything about the land of 10,000 tiny hockey rinks? And what did they call their varsity hockey team? As a result of a mix-up, they were called the "What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think." Not very catchy. And "Go! What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think!" doesn't exactly roll off one's tounge. But the school and team were stuck with the name until they could choose a better one.
Then, along comes football. The first teams at Minnesota were made up of the 4th- and 5th-team hockey players. As so often happens, the football-going fans knew much more about the game than the players, and they liked to razz the zone defenses run by the first football teams. "Go for the damn ball, you stupid puck-heads!" they would yell. And with time, the cheer was shortened to the familiar Go-fer or Gopher. We can only wish they were now called the Puck-Heads. Sigh.
And now, for the highlights -- or "filler" -- of my preview! Funny things found online about stuff.
The players!
* Girls names!! - Joe Ainslie (So, T), Dominique Barber (Fr, DB), Marion Barber III (Jr, RB), Dominique Sims (Sr, LB)
* You got some splainin' to do - Desi Steib (Fr, DB)
* It's still funny this year - Jarod Posthumus (Jr, TE)
* I hardly know...er... - Swaggert, Rucker (ooh, close), Melander, Lamers (no good?), Hightower, Eslinger, Dozier, Barber, Barber, Alexander
And the MN dumbness!
* Illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic/onions/sardines. (Alexandria. Also only city with all women officials)
* Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays (St. Cloud)
* No red cars allowed on Lake St. (Minneapolis)
* All bathtubs must have feet
* Also has the world's largest ball of twine. (Darwin. I can't wait until the next time Minnesota playes Kansas!)
* Illegal to enter Wisconsin with a duck on your head OR a chicken on your head.
Now, hang on. Is there an epidemic of fowl-headery (head-fowlery?) going on? Do we need like a Constitutional ammendment or something?
Well, that's all for now. More tomorrow in the Whether.
Go Cats! Eat the Puck-Heads!
Monday, September 20, 2004
NU 20, Kansas 17
--AD--
Josh's NU Review is brought to you by
Sorry about that ad. I don't usually have sponsors here, but in this case I'm a total fan. I'm fairly certain the ApostroCats are fans too, and after all it's all about about them here. Well, it's all about me being all about them. So.
In addition to being a fan of students showing up for NU games by the thousand (I haven't heard any particular estimate, so that's my own), I'm a big fan of the football-playing Northwesterners. I like those Cats on both sides of the ball and on both sides of the sideline. Do we have a booth? Cuz if we do, I'm a fan of those guys too. This past Saturday, I'll be bestowing most of my praise on the defense and special teams (and of course their coaches).
I. Special Teams. Huffman made FGs! A turnover on a KU punt miscue! These are very good, but do not underestimate the impart of Joel Howells in kickoff duty. He gave Huff's leg and brain a much-needed rest. Mad props to the coach who made that decision (and I have to assume it was Randy.)
II. D. The 2nd-best coaching decision (after Howells) was what I saw as a well-balanced defensive strategy. The KU rush was squelched (hee hee) with a minimum of NU man-power allowing for zone and nickel pass coverages. I know they passed for ~300 yards. But it was a small ~300. Ya know?
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: All-around good game. I worry about Baz's decision-making at times, but I'm lovin' these wide-outs.
Cats' D: Over-pursuit worked against Kansas but it can't be the rule or we're gonna get bur-urned.
Cats' Special Teams: Howells!!!!!!!! I like Huffman too, but Howells!
Go Cats! Beat the Gophers!
Josh's NU Review is brought to you by
Students.
Showing up to things...since 2004
Now available at Northwestern University.
--AD--Showing up to things...since 2004
Now available at Northwestern University.
Sorry about that ad. I don't usually have sponsors here, but in this case I'm a total fan. I'm fairly certain the ApostroCats are fans too, and after all it's all about about them here. Well, it's all about me being all about them. So.
In addition to being a fan of students showing up for NU games by the thousand (I haven't heard any particular estimate, so that's my own), I'm a big fan of the football-playing Northwesterners. I like those Cats on both sides of the ball and on both sides of the sideline. Do we have a booth? Cuz if we do, I'm a fan of those guys too. This past Saturday, I'll be bestowing most of my praise on the defense and special teams (and of course their coaches).
I. Special Teams. Huffman made FGs! A turnover on a KU punt miscue! These are very good, but do not underestimate the impart of Joel Howells in kickoff duty. He gave Huff's leg and brain a much-needed rest. Mad props to the coach who made that decision (and I have to assume it was Randy.)
II. D. The 2nd-best coaching decision (after Howells) was what I saw as a well-balanced defensive strategy. The KU rush was squelched (hee hee) with a minimum of NU man-power allowing for zone and nickel pass coverages. I know they passed for ~300 yards. But it was a small ~300. Ya know?
&
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: All-around good game. I worry about Baz's decision-making at times, but I'm lovin' these wide-outs.
Cats' D: Over-pursuit worked against Kansas but it can't be the rule or we're gonna get bur-urned.
Cats' Special Teams: Howells!!!!!!!! I like Huffman too, but Howells!
Go Cats! Beat the Gophers!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Kansas Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
Kansas
"I'm a Jayhawk"
Talk about the Sooners, the Cowboys and the Buffs,
Talk about the Tiger and his tail,
Talk about the Wildcat, and those Cornhuskin' boys,
But I'm the bird to make 'em weep and wail.
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk
Up at Lawrence on the Kaw
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk
With a sis-boom, hip hoorah.
Got a beak that's big enough to twist the Tiger's tail.
Husk some corn and listen to the Cornhusker's wail.
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk,
Riding on a Kansas Gale.
"I'm a Jayhawk"
Talk about the Sooners, the Cowboys and the Buffs,
Talk about the Tiger and his tail,
Talk about the Wildcat, and those Cornhuskin' boys,
But I'm the bird to make 'em weep and wail.
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk
Up at Lawrence on the Kaw
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk
With a sis-boom, hip hoorah.
Got a beak that's big enough to twist the Tiger's tail.
Husk some corn and listen to the Cornhusker's wail.
'Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jayhawk,
Riding on a Kansas Gale.
In case there was any doubt, these are the actual lyrics, not the altered ones. These Jayhawks practically beat themselves (hi-o).
Silly birds. Your "Kansas Gale" is no match for Evanston weather. We all know that the 'Cats beat the Jayhawks in Kansas last year in a monsoon, so they can bring their little gale (oh, it's already been brought-en).
Go 'Cats,
Brad
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Kansas Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...you forgot the line again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up with the betting line already! OK, fine. Here you go: NU -2.5, O/U 59.
...you'll have any family at the game on Satuday.
In fact, I will. My mom and my aunt will be there. My relatives are often good luck for NU football, so let's hope that hold up.
...you ever parodied the KU fight song last year.
No.
...you had some good ones for other shools last year, and you should do it for KU now.
No. Well, maybe. I had a couple good ones last year. No one really liked my Illinois song though.
...you can be convinced to do one this week.
Fine! If for no other reason than to get you off my back! I'm only doing the chorus though, because the verse is L-A-M-E! Lame, lame lame! Here's the tune and the real words.
O! These are falling, crawling Jayhawks,
And they're Catfood for us today.
O! These are failing, wailing Jayhawks.
Back to Lawrence (with) them, I say.
As a team unparalleled at losing on the field,
O! They don't know just yet that the Wildcats won't yield.
Cause these are fightless, flightless Jayhawks
Captured by the Cats once more! (Go Cats!)
...you gotta love a school that has a fight song about other schools.
No.
...your HS did that.
Um. Well, yes. I thought the universal love of Hopewell Valley CHS (Go Bulldogs!) was unquestioned. So, I figured it was an exception to answer above. Man these are hard questions.
...Cats eat birds.
Yes. Thusly: Cats eat birds/ Cats eat birds/ We are Cats/ You are birds/ We eat you/ You are dumb.
...the cheer goes on beyond that.
No. If you value your life, it does not.
...Cats eat birds to any particular tune.
Yes. Cats eat birds to the tune of NU 31, KU 24.
...you forgot the line again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up with the betting line already! OK, fine. Here you go: NU -2.5, O/U 59.
...you'll have any family at the game on Satuday.
In fact, I will. My mom and my aunt will be there. My relatives are often good luck for NU football, so let's hope that hold up.
...you ever parodied the KU fight song last year.
No.
...you had some good ones for other shools last year, and you should do it for KU now.
No. Well, maybe. I had a couple good ones last year. No one really liked my Illinois song though.
...you can be convinced to do one this week.
Fine! If for no other reason than to get you off my back! I'm only doing the chorus though, because the verse is L-A-M-E! Lame, lame lame! Here's the tune and the real words.
O! These are falling, crawling Jayhawks,
And they're Catfood for us today.
O! These are failing, wailing Jayhawks.
Back to Lawrence (with) them, I say.
As a team unparalleled at losing on the field,
O! They don't know just yet that the Wildcats won't yield.
Cause these are fightless, flightless Jayhawks
Captured by the Cats once more! (Go Cats!)
...you gotta love a school that has a fight song about other schools.
No.
...your HS did that.
Um. Well, yes. I thought the universal love of Hopewell Valley CHS (Go Bulldogs!) was unquestioned. So, I figured it was an exception to answer above. Man these are hard questions.
...Cats eat birds.
Yes. Thusly: Cats eat birds/ Cats eat birds/ We are Cats/ You are birds/ We eat you/ You are dumb.
...the cheer goes on beyond that.
No. If you value your life, it does not.
...Cats eat birds to any particular tune.
Yes. Cats eat birds to the tune of NU 31, KU 24.
Monday, September 13, 2004
ASU 30, NU 21
Ok. Finally. Sorry it took so long to get this review written. It's been a combination of having actual stuff to do at work and actual TV to watch at home. And actually falling asleep on the bus. But enough about me for now. Don't worry, there will be plenty about me as the season goes on.
As far as that game against ASU? That was difficult to watch, and not for the usual reason. It wasn't a Minnesota-style blowout. And it wasn't really an Air Force-style collapse. It was just 60 minutes of generally not good enough play. I was thinking yesterday that I can't name a unit on the Wildcats that had an overall good day.
The D was ok against the run, but had the same problems in the secondary as last week. The O was pretty strong, scoring in the red zone 3 times out of 3. But they need more than 3 red zone possessions. And no turnovers. The special teams were all over the place with mostly good punts, bad coverage, and a great onside kick. And the coaches -- that oft-forgotten unit -- had a bad game. Bad decisions on 4th down, IMO, and a little bad play-calling. But oh well, it seems to have been par for the day.
And
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Matched up well in comparison to ASU offense. Except one stat: turnovers.
Cats' D: Somehow need to find a secondary strategy that works.
Cats' Special Teams: I wish we'd seen a Huffman FG try. I don't want this to be a repeat of last year.
Let's go Cats!
As far as that game against ASU? That was difficult to watch, and not for the usual reason. It wasn't a Minnesota-style blowout. And it wasn't really an Air Force-style collapse. It was just 60 minutes of generally not good enough play. I was thinking yesterday that I can't name a unit on the Wildcats that had an overall good day.
The D was ok against the run, but had the same problems in the secondary as last week. The O was pretty strong, scoring in the red zone 3 times out of 3. But they need more than 3 red zone possessions. And no turnovers. The special teams were all over the place with mostly good punts, bad coverage, and a great onside kick. And the coaches -- that oft-forgotten unit -- had a bad game. Bad decisions on 4th down, IMO, and a little bad play-calling. But oh well, it seems to have been par for the day.
And
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: Matched up well in comparison to ASU offense. Except one stat: turnovers.
Cats' D: Somehow need to find a secondary strategy that works.
Cats' Special Teams: I wish we'd seen a Huffman FG try. I don't want this to be a repeat of last year.
Let's go Cats!
Friday, September 10, 2004
ASU Weather Forecast
So, with Brad at band camp, I was shopping this feature around this week. But no one has picked it up, so I'll do it myself. Well, sort of, as you'll see. Since I haven't really been bringing the funny so far, I'll rely on the lamest-but-sometimes-funny trick in the book. That's right! Get ready for a Mad-Lib Weather Forecast.
***
Today in (1. location), you can expect (2. adjective) skies with a smattering of (3. plural noun). At game time, the (4. noun) should be right around (5. number). While (6. noun) is unlikely, there is a(n) (7. adjective) possibility of (8. noun) before the end of regulation.
This is good news for the the Wildcats, who will have no problem with the (9. adjective) attack of the Arizona State (10. plural noun).
(9. Imperative verb) Cats!
suggested words:
1. the frozen tundra
2. slimy
3. bears
4. chair
5. 7
6. beefsteak
7. searing
8. lava lamp
9. furry
10. Hockey Pucks
11. Run
***
Today in (1. location), you can expect (2. adjective) skies with a smattering of (3. plural noun). At game time, the (4. noun) should be right around (5. number). While (6. noun) is unlikely, there is a(n) (7. adjective) possibility of (8. noun) before the end of regulation.
This is good news for the the Wildcats, who will have no problem with the (9. adjective) attack of the Arizona State (10. plural noun).
(9. Imperative verb) Cats!
suggested words:
1. the frozen tundra
2. slimy
3. bears
4. chair
5. 7
6. beefsteak
7. searing
8. lava lamp
9. furry
10. Hockey Pucks
11. Run
Thursday, September 09, 2004
ASU Whether Report
Say, Josh, tell me whether...
...you stopped by Band Camp this week.
Yes indeed. Along with Yvonne and Chris. It was pretty sweet, although I wish I'd seen some of pregame.
...that's a little creepy.
Yeah. Maybe. Ya know what? Suck it up and deal! We're old and we'll do whatever we want and you'll just have to like it.
...you keep forgetting to look at the point spread when you do the previews here.
Yeah. I don't like to condone betting, and I don't gamble myself, but they're sometimes interesting. I think it's NU by 2 1/2 with an O/U of 61. I can buy that.
...there's anything else you missed, you slacker.
I don't think so.
...you're going to keep using the Whether Report feature to make up for your failings in the previews.
It sure looks that way, huh?
...the ASU fight song is note-worthy.
No. Usually I check that out too, so I just did. Except that the end recalls "Aw Wisconsin."
...you're gonna write down that name.
Oh boy! It's that long name I often pass on a store-front while I ride the el. Thanks! I totally would have forgotten. Hang on...DAMN TREES! Grrrrrrrrrrr. OK. I couldn't see it. It's all right. I'm better now. Sorry about that.
...you're writing this on the back of old NUMB music.
Yup, sure am. Actually, I guess it's NUBB music. Page one is "You Really Got Me" (a.k.a. "The Josh Held Feature Song") and Page two is "(Dave can we play) Minnie the Moocher."
...this will ever be funny.
Maybe. I hope so. I'm gonna try to pull in some outside contributions to liven it up. Send me somthing!
...you've got a prediction for Saturday.
Yeah, sure. Um. NU 35, ASU 20.
...you stopped by Band Camp this week.
Yes indeed. Along with Yvonne and Chris. It was pretty sweet, although I wish I'd seen some of pregame.
...that's a little creepy.
Yeah. Maybe. Ya know what? Suck it up and deal! We're old and we'll do whatever we want and you'll just have to like it.
...you keep forgetting to look at the point spread when you do the previews here.
Yeah. I don't like to condone betting, and I don't gamble myself, but they're sometimes interesting. I think it's NU by 2 1/2 with an O/U of 61. I can buy that.
...there's anything else you missed, you slacker.
It sure looks that way, huh?
...the ASU fight song is note-worthy.
No. Usually I check that out too, so I just did. Except that the end recalls "Aw Wisconsin."
...you're gonna write down that name.
Oh boy! It's that long name I often pass on a store-front while I ride the el. Thanks! I totally would have forgotten. Hang on...DAMN TREES! Grrrrrrrrrrr. OK. I couldn't see it. It's all right. I'm better now. Sorry about that.
...you're writing this on the back of old NUMB music.
Yup, sure am. Actually, I guess it's NUBB music. Page one is "You Really Got Me" (a.k.a. "The Josh Held Feature Song") and Page two is "(Dave can we play) Minnie the Moocher."
...this will ever be funny.
Maybe. I hope so. I'm gonna try to pull in some outside contributions to liven it up. Send me somthing!
...you've got a prediction for Saturday.
Yeah, sure. Um. NU 35, ASU 20.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
ASU Preview
Welcome back to another week of my NU football whateverness. Now that we're looking at a string of Saturday games, I'll let you know my usual schedule. Thursday is the preview, Friday is the weather report and the whether report, and Monday is the recap. I'll try to get everything up before noon (hopefully earlier) most days.
There. You know what to expect from me. What shall we expect at Dyche on Saturday? Well, before I get to whatever silliness and interest I can find in my Sun Devil research, I'll state my general view of this game.
*** Josh's general view ***
ASU beat a bad UTEP team last week. NU lost close to a good TCU. Those games don't make a good comparison to each other. NU needs improved rushing, similar passing efficiency, and improved pass coverage. That should do it, and I think it's all there to be had.
*** It's over! ***
* ASU is 2-0 all-time against the Wildcats. The last game was in 1978, so let's not worry about that stat, huh?
* NU had the nation's best passing attack last week: Basanez led the nation in passing. Field led in yards receiving. Philmore had the 9th most yards nationally, and was 3rd in the Big Ten.
Not much news in the ASU football world. What I wouldn't give for another campus-sign stealing story like last year!
* I'm also totally sick of players who aren't from interesting places! Why can't they all be from Stupidnameville? Or at least from Dodge Dakota.
Meet the Sun Devils:
* Loren is a girl's name: Loren Wade (So. TB). As long as Howard is out, I have no problem mocking this name.
* Um: Rodney Cox (Fr. CB/S), Brandon Rodd (Fr. OL).
* I hardly even, et cetera: Baker, Carpenter, Keller, Merriweather, Miller, Miller, Miller, Nenaber, Palmer (what is she? a basketball?), Reininger, Thrower (how rude! I guess it's better than Baker), Walter.
GO CATS!
There. You know what to expect from me. What shall we expect at Dyche on Saturday? Well, before I get to whatever silliness and interest I can find in my Sun Devil research, I'll state my general view of this game.
*** Josh's general view ***
ASU beat a bad UTEP team last week. NU lost close to a good TCU. Those games don't make a good comparison to each other. NU needs improved rushing, similar passing efficiency, and improved pass coverage. That should do it, and I think it's all there to be had.
*** It's over! ***
* ASU is 2-0 all-time against the Wildcats. The last game was in 1978, so let's not worry about that stat, huh?
* NU had the nation's best passing attack last week: Basanez led the nation in passing. Field led in yards receiving. Philmore had the 9th most yards nationally, and was 3rd in the Big Ten.
Not much news in the ASU football world. What I wouldn't give for another campus-sign stealing story like last year!
* I'm also totally sick of players who aren't from interesting places! Why can't they all be from Stupidnameville? Or at least from Dodge Dakota.
Meet the Sun Devils:
* Loren is a girl's name: Loren Wade (So. TB). As long as Howard is out, I have no problem mocking this name.
* Um: Rodney Cox (Fr. CB/S), Brandon Rodd (Fr. OL).
* I hardly even, et cetera: Baker, Carpenter, Keller, Merriweather, Miller, Miller, Miller, Nenaber, Palmer (what is she? a basketball?), Reininger, Thrower (how rude! I guess it's better than Baker), Walter.
GO CATS!
Friday, September 03, 2004
TCU 48, NU 45 (2 OT)
In spite of the final result - a 1 in the loss column - I felt pretty good about last night's game against the Horn-ed Frogs of Tee Cee Yoo. I mean, the loss of Loren Howard is probably for the whole season, and the Northwestern lineman showed that they'll be able to play well without him. Replacement end David Thompson had 3 tackles (one for a loss), and the linebackers and safeties did a very nice job supporting each other and the line in the rush defense.
Also Luis Castillo played great considering his left arm was severed at the shoulder early in the 3rd quarter. Ha! Now don't you wish you'd stayed up for the whole thing?! Screw work the next morning; this is football we're talking about.
But the defense on the ground didn't quite make up for the lack of defense through the air. If you want my opinion, and I know you do - why else would you be reading this - the TCU ball-catchers were just too fast as a group. They were down-field blocking while our secondary was still watching the pass. So, I think we'll improve on that against lesser receiving corps. Corpses? Corpsi? Corpsi sounds like a soft drink.
Corpsi! The taste of the old generation!
On the other side of the ball (Finally, Josh!) I was so impressed with Brett Basanez (Uh huh, uh huh! I like it!) that I was speechless for most of the game. I mean, 513 yds on 39 for 62 passing? With 4 TDs and 1 INT? And no sacks allowed? How could you ask for more from the guy? You know who I'm asking more from? The Grammar Police not to knock down my door, but also Noah Herron to show a little more speed. And the NU offensive play-caller(s) to get him out around the corner a little more. He's better in the open field than that for which they give him credit.
And as always
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: This is the kind of stuff we saw a few years ago from Zak and Damien. Only different. I'd like to see more from Herron or any other back, and I'd like us to keep some wide-outs healthy.
Cats' D: I liked the play up front and against the run. I don't know if the poor secondary play was a one-time deal. For now I think it was.
Cats' Special Teams: I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel I must. We should have won that game so many times, and it all seems to boil down to Huffman. That was a pretty lousy game from a guy who's usually a consistent kicker. Let's all give him a break next Saturday at Dyche, shall we?
Go Cats! Beat the Sun Devils!
Also Luis Castillo played great considering his left arm was severed at the shoulder early in the 3rd quarter. Ha! Now don't you wish you'd stayed up for the whole thing?! Screw work the next morning; this is football we're talking about.
But the defense on the ground didn't quite make up for the lack of defense through the air. If you want my opinion, and I know you do - why else would you be reading this - the TCU ball-catchers were just too fast as a group. They were down-field blocking while our secondary was still watching the pass. So, I think we'll improve on that against lesser receiving corps. Corpses? Corpsi? Corpsi sounds like a soft drink.
Corpsi! The taste of the old generation!
On the other side of the ball (Finally, Josh!) I was so impressed with Brett Basanez (Uh huh, uh huh! I like it!) that I was speechless for most of the game. I mean, 513 yds on 39 for 62 passing? With 4 TDs and 1 INT? And no sacks allowed? How could you ask for more from the guy? You know who I'm asking more from? The Grammar Police not to knock down my door, but also Noah Herron to show a little more speed. And the NU offensive play-caller(s) to get him out around the corner a little more. He's better in the open field than that for which they give him credit.
And as always
In My Opinion:
Cats' O: This is the kind of stuff we saw a few years ago from Zak and Damien. Only different. I'd like to see more from Herron or any other back, and I'd like us to keep some wide-outs healthy.
Cats' D: I liked the play up front and against the run. I don't know if the poor secondary play was a one-time deal. For now I think it was.
Cats' Special Teams: I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel I must. We should have won that game so many times, and it all seems to boil down to Huffman. That was a pretty lousy game from a guy who's usually a consistent kicker. Let's all give him a break next Saturday at Dyche, shall we?
Go Cats! Beat the Sun Devils!
Thursday, September 02, 2004
TCU Weather Forecast (Forecaster Jepson)
Ah, the smells of allergy season (i.e. no smell - I'm congested) have
arrived, timed appropriately with the peak of Royals' suckiness, the same
old summer songs on the radio, and the realization that watching the
water treatment process is only slightly more exciting than watching
grass grow. This means it's time for football season.
During an intense number-crunching session, I discovered that the 'Cats
played .556 football last year when I gave the weather report, but a
lowly .250 when I did not.
Therefore, I submit for your approval the 2nd Annual Opening Day Weather
Report:
***
It's going to be insanely hot in Ft. Worth. So hot that the Horned
Frogs' reptilian blood will boil (yes, horned frogs are a kind of lizard,
not actually frogs). It should be a triumphant victory for the 'Cats.
Don't worry, the weather reports will eventually be funny, when sleep
deprivation sinks in.
'Cats eat Horned Frogs,
Jantz
arrived, timed appropriately with the peak of Royals' suckiness, the same
old summer songs on the radio, and the realization that watching the
water treatment process is only slightly more exciting than watching
grass grow. This means it's time for football season.
During an intense number-crunching session, I discovered that the 'Cats
played .556 football last year when I gave the weather report, but a
lowly .250 when I did not.
Therefore, I submit for your approval the 2nd Annual Opening Day Weather
Report:
***
It's going to be insanely hot in Ft. Worth. So hot that the Horned
Frogs' reptilian blood will boil (yes, horned frogs are a kind of lizard,
not actually frogs). It should be a triumphant victory for the 'Cats.
Don't worry, the weather reports will eventually be funny, when sleep
deprivation sinks in.
'Cats eat Horned Frogs,
Jantz
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
TCU Whether Report
...you can explain what the Hell this is.
No.
...this is going to be pretty lame unless you do explain.
No. You people are pretty smart, and you can always look at last season's stuff.
...you heard that there is an injury on NU's defensive line.
Yeah. I heard on ESPN radio yesterday morning that someone (it was either Howard or Clark) is hurt and out for the TCU game. I don't remember who, and I haven't seen it confirmed anywhere, but I'm going to assume it's true.
...that sucks.
Oh yeah. Big time.
...you forgot to do the names and towns in the preview.
Yes. I can't get anything past you. I'll do them here. If I remember. Because, you see, I'm still on the bus. That's a fun part, so I hope I remember.
...you remembered.
Whew, I did.
The first edition of the funny oponents' name game:
* First let me state that there are like 100 million players on TCU; this could take a while.
* I actually think it's a pretty good QB name: Tye Gunn (Jr.)
* Is a girl's name: There aren't any. How much does this suck for the 1st week.
* Is a jerk's name: Cad Davis (Fr, safety)
* I hardly even know 'er: Walker, Taylor, Schleuter, Schlenger, Proctor, Oliver, Lindner, Kesler, Draper,
Butler, Bonner, Alexander
No.
...this is going to be pretty lame unless you do explain.
No. You people are pretty smart, and you can always look at last season's stuff.
...you heard that there is an injury on NU's defensive line.
Yeah. I heard on ESPN radio yesterday morning that someone (it was either Howard or Clark) is hurt and out for the TCU game. I don't remember who, and I haven't seen it confirmed anywhere, but I'm going to assume it's true.
...that sucks.
Oh yeah. Big time.
...you forgot to do the names and towns in the preview.
Yes. I can't get anything past you. I'll do them here. If I remember. Because, you see, I'm still on the bus. That's a fun part, so I hope I remember.
...you remembered.
Whew, I did.
The first edition of the funny oponents' name game:
* First let me state that there are like 100 million players on TCU; this could take a while.
* I actually think it's a pretty good QB name: Tye Gunn (Jr.)
* Is a girl's name: There aren't any. How much does this suck for the 1st week.
* Is a jerk's name: Cad Davis (Fr, safety)
* I hardly even know 'er: Walker, Taylor, Schleuter, Schlenger, Proctor, Oliver, Lindner, Kesler, Draper,
Butler, Bonner, Alexander
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
TCU Preview
I'm excited about writing the first preview of the year; however I never realized why it's so hard to preview the first game. It turns out that nothing has happened yet for me to talk about. Hmm. I guess I could always make stuff up. Since that's what I always do anyway. Or I could ignore football completely and tell you about the books I've been reading all summer. But then you'd just make fun of me, because I read "Eats Shoots and Leaves" and I still can't puncuate correctly.
So, the Wildcats are going to TCU. First and foremost, it gives me a chance to relive my rage from the last time we played at TCU. As I recall it was 2000, and everyone was excited about the season after NU went 2-0 to start off. TCU had ace running back LaDainian Tomlinson and ran him all over the place using a pretty decent option attack. NU had, let us say, "issues" stopping the Frogs' rush offense. I watched the game with my parents from Coach's Cafe - I think it was still called "?" at the time - and I totally freaked out on every play that TCU ran because I felt they were holding on every down. Let me tell you, they were. It was so blatant that I expected the field to be so cluttered with flags that the yellow ESPN line-to-gain would be completely obscured. Sadly, it was not so. Damn. We lost pretty badly. I guess I'm over it, but sometimes I wake up screaming, "Hey linesman! What the hell!"
But, that's in the past.
This week, I think the NU defense will have a much better time in Fort Worth. And I know that TCU won't have Tomlinson. A quick perusal of the TCU website reveals that coach Gary Patterson only just picked a starting QB for Thursday's match-up. It'l be Tye Gunn but Brandon Hassel will also see time throughout the game.
I haven't seen a line for this game, but I really haven't looked. I'm also on the bus right now, so unless we hit a stop light with a hotspot nearby, I'll have to edit this once I get to work. I'm guessing that TCU is favored by 4 with an O/U of 40. Let's see how awesome I am. Update: TCU by 7, with an O/U of 56. 56? Well, maybe.
That's about it for now. I'll get going with the Whether Report, and I'll be looking for one or more weather forecasters. Let me know if you're interested in being Brad Jepson. Or if you are Brad Jepson.
So, the Wildcats are going to TCU. First and foremost, it gives me a chance to relive my rage from the last time we played at TCU. As I recall it was 2000, and everyone was excited about the season after NU went 2-0 to start off. TCU had ace running back LaDainian Tomlinson and ran him all over the place using a pretty decent option attack. NU had, let us say, "issues" stopping the Frogs' rush offense. I watched the game with my parents from Coach's Cafe - I think it was still called "?" at the time - and I totally freaked out on every play that TCU ran because I felt they were holding on every down. Let me tell you, they were. It was so blatant that I expected the field to be so cluttered with flags that the yellow ESPN line-to-gain would be completely obscured. Sadly, it was not so. Damn. We lost pretty badly. I guess I'm over it, but sometimes I wake up screaming, "Hey linesman! What the hell!"
But, that's in the past.
This week, I think the NU defense will have a much better time in Fort Worth. And I know that TCU won't have Tomlinson. A quick perusal of the TCU website reveals that coach Gary Patterson only just picked a starting QB for Thursday's match-up. It'l be Tye Gunn but Brandon Hassel will also see time throughout the game.
I haven't seen a line for this game, but I really haven't looked. I'm also on the bus right now, so unless we hit a stop light with a hotspot nearby, I'll have to edit this once I get to work. I'm guessing that TCU is favored by 4 with an O/U of 40. Let's see how awesome I am. Update: TCU by 7, with an O/U of 56. 56? Well, maybe.
That's about it for now. I'll get going with the Whether Report, and I'll be looking for one or more weather forecasters. Let me know if you're interested in being Brad Jepson. Or if you are Brad Jepson.
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