Minnesota Preview

Finally, the start of the Big Ten season. Last year we got out to a not-so-good start with a shut-out loss to Ohio State. I have to take a little bit of the blame for that one. It was my birthday, and I might have put a little too much pressure on the Cats to give me the gift of a victory. So, this year -- two days before my birthday -- I'll just watch and cheer like a normal person. But, if NU pulls a fast one and delivers a little something as an early gift...well, I'll promise to act surprised.

Speaking of Gophers (how's that for a segue!), I'll bet you were just about to ask if I know where that nickname comes from. It turns out that I do, and it's not what you think:

150 years ago or so, a young university in Minnesota was starting up its varsity athletics. And what sport did it start with? Well, hockey you dolt. Don't you know anything about the land of 10,000 tiny hockey rinks? And what did they call their varsity hockey team? As a result of a mix-up, they were called the "What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think." Not very catchy. And "Go! What? I need to give them a name too? Um, let me think!" doesn't exactly roll off one's tounge. But the school and team were stuck with the name until they could choose a better one.

Then, along comes football. The first teams at Minnesota were made up of the 4th- and 5th-team hockey players. As so often happens, the football-going fans knew much more about the game than the players, and they liked to razz the zone defenses run by the first football teams. "Go for the damn ball, you stupid puck-heads!" they would yell. And with time, the cheer was shortened to the familiar Go-fer or Gopher. We can only wish they were now called the Puck-Heads. Sigh.

And now, for the highlights -- or "filler" -- of my preview! Funny things found online about stuff.

The players!
* Girls names!! - Joe Ainslie (So, T), Dominique Barber (Fr, DB), Marion Barber III (Jr, RB), Dominique Sims (Sr, LB)
* You got some splainin' to do - Desi Steib (Fr, DB)
* It's still funny this year - Jarod Posthumus (Jr, TE)
* I hardly know...er... - Swaggert, Rucker (ooh, close), Melander, Lamers (no good?), Hightower, Eslinger, Dozier, Barber, Barber, Alexander

And the MN dumbness!
* Illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic/onions/sardines. (Alexandria. Also only city with all women officials)
* Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays (St. Cloud)
* No red cars allowed on Lake St. (Minneapolis)
* All bathtubs must have feet
* Also has the world's largest ball of twine. (Darwin. I can't wait until the next time Minnesota playes Kansas!)
* Illegal to enter Wisconsin with a duck on your head OR a chicken on your head.

Now, hang on. Is there an epidemic of fowl-headery (head-fowlery?) going on? Do we need like a Constitutional ammendment or something?

Well, that's all for now. More tomorrow in the Whether.
Go Cats! Eat the Puck-Heads!