We are Swazis. We come from the land of ketchup.

Amanda's 18-page journal from her winter vacation trip to Kruger and Swaziland just arrived. 18 pages is a lot to copy out by hand, so I get the only copy! MWAH HA HA HA! But being the kind friend that I am -- and because Amanda told me to -- I will be digitally or xerographically copying the letter for everyone who wants it.

Part I: Digital is right here. After the jump, you'll be able to download all 18 pages as a ZIP file, or individually as JPGs.

If this doesn't work for you, let me know and I'll put you on the Part II: Photocopy Boogaloo list. Photocopies to be made approximately whenever I get around to it at work.

Download the letter after the jump.

I'm using a kind of crappy file-hosting site. You'll have to wait ~10 seconds before you get the download link at the bottom of each page. Know a better way? Please let me know.

18-pages zipped (18.4 MB)

Page 1 (about 1 MB each)
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6
Page 7
Page 8
Page 9
Page 10
Page 11
Page 12
Page 13
Page 14
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Page 16
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Page 18

Ha ha, we get it. Now never do it again.

Tonight's lineup on Turner Classic Movies: (all times CDT)

7pm: The Maltese Falcon
9pm: The Wings of Eagles
11pm: To Kill a Mockingbird
1:15am: Yellow Canary
2:45am: The Fallen Sparrow

DO YOU GET IT?

Homeward bound

Two weeks ago, Stephanie Erickson ('98) was named the new women's soccer head coach at NU. A few days later, Pat Fitzgerald ('97) succeeded Randy Walker as the head football coach. Yesterday, Tavaras Hardy ('02) became an assitant to basketball coach Bill Carmody, forcing us all to learn once and for all that there are no Es in the name Tavaras Hardy.

So, who's the next Wildcat to get a seat at the coaching table? I think there are two answers to that question.

In terms of general hotness: Dana Leonard ('00), women's basketball. Pros: general hotness; probably the final straw in bringing Andy Shin stateside once more. Cons: She probably has a real job now, since she played, you know, women's basketball.

In terms of athletic excellence: Jake Herbert ('07?), wrestling. Pros: Currently the best wrestler in the Big Ten, and one of the best in the world. Cons: Currently a junior in college. I'd suggest using him in a student/coach/player/administrator type of role.

Listen up, Greenberg, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. (Part II)

OK. Maybe this counts as twice.

The problem in 2002 was that the managers forgot the rules of baseball. Guess what? There are extra innings in the event of a tie score after 9 innings! Who knew? You mean we shouldn't have used all 25 players through 9 innings of play?

Here's what MLB should do:

• For God's sake, base World Series advantage on regular season record
• Re-exhibitionize the All-Star game
  
• Instruct and remind All-Star managers that extra innings will be played
• Instruct the managers to select 3 "extra innings reserves"
• 2 pitchers, 1 other player
• EIRs in addition to regular roster
• Keep "Final Man" voting for fans
• "Final Man" is on regular roster
  
• EIRs have full All-Star status, with all rights and privileges
• EIRs become eligible to play following completion of the bottom of the 9th inning
• Limit the game to 15 innings

Change the number of EIRs or the number of extra innings, but this allows the managers to get all the guys in without too much worry about extra innings. Don't worry about the result. Worry about the health of the players, the happiness of the fans, and the integrity of the World Series.

Listen up, Greenberg, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. (Part I)

I'm sure you all watched the MLB All-Star Game last night. Fans of Kansas City and Baltimore must be thrilled that whichever of those teams makes it to the World Series will have home field advantage.

Let's play a little game. Who are the teams with best records? AL: Detroit; NL: New York. Pretend they're in the World Series. How many from each were in the A-S game? Detroit: 2 (Rogers and Ordonez); New York: 3 (Beltran, Wright, Lo Duca). Maybe the Lions had a big impact? Well Rogers went 2 innings and gave up one run in a no-decision. Ordonez struck out PHing for Rogers. Wright had a HR (off Rogers) and Beltran was 2-4 with a run scored.

But if these teams meet up, Detroit will have the advantage. And it won't because they're a better team. It will be because their lousy All-Stars were picked up by other AL players while the Mets stars shone. Except Lo Duca, but seriously can you name another NL catcher?

Baseball royally screwed up 3 years ago when they decided the All-Star game should "mean something." No it shouldn't! It's an exhibition. Why is that so bad?

Even worse than imbuing meaning, they reminded everyone that previously World Series home field was determined by the even divisibility by 2 of the calendar year. What? You mean it wasn't the team with the better record? Like it is in the LDSs and LCSs? Like it is in every other series in every other Amercian sports league? Like it is in every NFL playoff game except the neutral-site Super Bowl?

OK. This is getting long, so I'm taking it to a second posting. See ya there!