On Saturday, in State College, PA, college football fans can expect to see similar conditions to last week in Columbus, OH. Specifically, there will be a frequently-sprinting Joe Paterno.
In the first quarter, with heavy cloud cover overhead, the Penn State coach will seek additional warmth. A slow sprint to the locker room will allow him to bask in the glow of a fire kindled by the resumes of coaches applying for his job.
Shortly after halftime, the skies will open for a smattering of rain. The Nittany Ferret mascot will see what he thinks is a bedraggled rat, and he will chase it around the field until he (the ferret) gets tired. Willie will have no interest in this spectacle, because he will be busy dining on raw lion meat.
As the youngest and oldest coaches in D-IA complete their post-game handshake, the sun will burst through! Forgetting what exactly the rules are for vampires, Paterno will try to shield the sun's harmful rays by by imbibing Fitz's succulent blood. Naturally, Coach will flee across the field & he will escape when Joe Pa gets lost between the 35- and 40-yard lines.
Cats win!
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