Miami Road Trip Guide

The first road trip opportunity of 2006 comes up right out of the chute, so here are the 3 most important things you'll need to know if you're joining me to see the ApostroCats dismantle the Imbredhawks:

More after the jump.

Location: As everyone knows, Miami of Ohio is neither a pea nor a nut...wait, maybe that's for cashews. Right, Miami is neither in Miami nor in Ohio. MU plays in lovely Oxford, England. It's just a 5-1/2 hour drive from Evanston, so you've got no excuse not to go.

Location: Namely, the location of your purple summerwear. Even though this will be a night game, it's still on August 31st. So those purple anoraks, purple crampons, and purple wooly mammoth-skin pants from last winter's road trip? Leave them at home in favor of purple speedos, purple aquasocks, and purple oversized novelty sunglasses.

Location: Usually, the visiting crowd gets shunted off to a distant part of the home stadium. At Yager Stadium, I think we'll actually be represented by a different congressman than the MU faithful. So, vigorous and pithy cheering is a must if you want to get your point across. Here are some suggestions:

• "Your campus is so dry that the champagne is particularly exquisite! Too bad you can't have any!"
• "Roethlisberger? I hardly even know 'er!"
• "Roethlisberger? I hardly even know the basics of motorcycle safety!"
• I think there's a Ben and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance joke here, but I can't quite form it.
  
• Now from some old crankitude, from an old crank...
• "Cats eat birds! Cats eat birds! We are Cats! You are birds! We eat you! You are dumb!"
• That is the end of the cheer. Each added word is punishable by pillorying.

See y'all in Oxford!