An open letter to The Universe and Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling

Dear All Things and Madam,

I have a problem that I think one or both of you can help me with. The following TV shows are all on at 8pm (central time) on Wednesdays: Lost (ABC), Criminal Minds (CBS), Veronica Mars (UPN), and Bones (FOX). I have the capability to record two shows at once on my DVR; or I can watch one and record one. I have a TV tuner for my computer, so I can watch or record one show there. I also have a TV-VCR combo deal, so I guess I could record the fourth show on that, but we live in a digital age and I refuse to "slum it" with inferior media.

More after the jump.

Here is where the two of you come in. As you will have realized -- as will any other readers of this letter; sorry to make it open, but I was unsure of the address for The Universe. Do you have Gmail? I bet you have something better with unlimited storage. -- the simplest solution here is for me to repeat the hour of 8pm central time as needed. J.K., (can I call you that? Everyone else does, it seems.) maybe you can tell me how to get my hands on a time turner. I'm not sure how I'd avoid seeing my multiple selves, but I can figure it out by next week. The Universe, you could probably open some wormhole or other space-time whateverness suitable for my situation.

I realize this is short notice, so I don't expect a reply in the next hour. If you can help me out by next week, I'd really appreciate it. After the Olympics start, I guess that will screw up scheduling and there will be few new episodes, so I will think some more while I watch the action in Torino.

Oh one more thing. Thanks for making the the Cats game at 6 tonight, so that doesn't conflict with my already large problem. I guess that's thanks to The Universe, but if you had a hand it that, J.K., I'm in more awe than I already was!

Sincerely,
Josh Eats Birds

Update: I discovered that I can hook the cable up to another connection on my TV to watch a regular cable channel while recording two other show. Problem solved for now. At least until NBC gets something good in that slot.